China Elevator Stories

These Aren’t Your Relationships And You Shouldn’t Be In There

Please stop destroying my relationships.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


I prepared a present for my older son’s birthday and sent it off to China yesterday.

Before I did so, Joris had already tried to ruin my day. He knows how much I hate being controlled, and because he is very sadistic, he’ll do exactly what I hate the most, which means trying to control every aspect of my life. Like, seriously, can’t you take a good look in the mirror and work on what needs to change within you?

Whenever I prepare presents or parcels for my kids, he wants to know what I put in it, he then wants to have a say in what I can or cannot put in it, then he tells me how much money I should spend, and he’ll try to completely ruin my day any way he can.

These Aren’t Your Relationships And You Shouldn’t Be In There

He’ll then spread negativity by constantly telling me that my children are narcissists and he’ll keep on talking about how my ex-husband’s family turned my children into narcissists. He then tells me that I should stay away from them so my energy won’t be effected. 

Uhm, will you please … fuck off and stop your engulfment, we don’t diagnose children, ever!

If you want to send someone a present, send someone a present but don’t enmesh with me or take that activity away from me! This is my relationship with my children and you don’t have to ruin it by trying to manipulate it and by not allowing me to have my own relationship with them.

By the way, if you ask me if a narcissist ever gets their karma, I would say – it depends, but more often than not I have experienced that they don’t. In the case of my ex-husband, the evidence I have of life reflecting back to me that he is getting his karma for what he did to me and our children is that he does not.

My ex-husband took everything from me. On top of this, he also wasn’t punished or sanctioned by the court, but was instead rewarded for taking away our children! The way this whole situation unfolded was that he was allowed to keep everything, and I have lost everything. He has the kids, the house, the car – you get it. I had to give up everything and was left with nothing.

This, by the way, is common when you are dealing with narcissists!

Additionally, I was almost killed by him.

I now also have to deal with a few more narcissists who are trying to take away the little I still have. Isn’t this – extreme?

And to answer your question, Joris, because you have ignored and invalidated me and tried to take away my right to have a voice in this: No, we are not together, we never will be together ever again, and no, this will not change.

I didn’t want to write this blog post, but I still did because of your boundary violations which you simply won’t stop. This is unbearable for me, and I don’t want to stay stuck in this situation you are trying to keep me stuck in.

Have you ever had to deal with a person who tried to destroy your relationships?

Follow me on: