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China Elevator Stories
What It Sounds Like When You Ask a Stalker to Leave You Alone
When you ask a stalker to leave you alone, they’ll usually deny that you have a right to be left alone by them.
04/03/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
Stalker (after repeatedly being told to leave me alone and never talk to me again): “Oh no, you got that wrong. That’s not how you’re really feeling.”
Me: “What was the boundary? Please repeat it to me so I know you heard it correctly.”
Stalker (ignoring me): “Well, anyways, you know, my dad said [this].”
Me: “Did I ask you to tell me about what your dad said? Also, please show me proof he actually said that. Let me repeat the boundary: You have no right to talk to me, and I have a right to not be harassed by you. I don’t want to hear about your daddy issues—I am not responsible for him or for you.”
Him: “You don’t have a right to exclude me from your life. I have a right to spend time with you.”
Me: “Stop harassing me. I did not consent to talking to you.”
Him: “Actually, that’s not how you’re really feeling. Other people think I’m intelligent and attractive—you don’t have a right to distance yourself from me.”
Me: “Yeah, for sure. Leave me alone.”
Him: “You’re bullying me when you claim I’m not intelligent. I’m not okay with you saying that.”
Me: “I have a right to tell you the truth when you keep repeatedly proving that you are extremely dumb. Pointing out the truth to a person who has harassed and abused me is not the same as bullying. Leave me alone and don’t tell me your opinion on things. I’m not your therapist or caregiver—go talk to people who actually want to listen to you and leave those alone who don’t.”
Him: “You can’t exclude me. I have a right to watch you.”
Me: “It’s called privacy.”
Him: “You have to talk to me and listen to me. I’m really hot and cool. Now lay down and take your clothes off—I know how hot you think I am, and you aren’t allowed to say no to me.”
Me: “Leave me alone. That’s stalking and harassment, and I have told you I have a right to live my life free of you. I am tired and need to rest. I am not a porn star, and I am not an object. I choose who I allow in my life and who has no right to remain in it. Just because I am a woman doesn’t mean I don’t have rights or that I have to talk to you or listen to your constant put-downs and negativity. When a woman says no, you respect it and leave her alone.”
Him: “I know you’re in love with me.”
Me: “Stop twisting my words. I am not.”
Him: “You’re dumb, you’re ugly, you can’t do anything right. Nobody wants you.”
Me: “I asked you to stop talking to me.”
Him: “Oh no, I meant that thing you did—you did that wrong. Also, you’re an ugly whore.”
Me: “Well, you’re a very lovely person, aren’t you? You seem to have learned great social skills.”
Him: “You’re bullying me! That’s extremely rude! You can’t be quiet and stay by yourself—you have to spend time with me. Trust me, you gotta open up your heart and learn how to trust me. You’re closing yourself off from me, you have to let me in emotionally. I know you want to have sex with me and be with me.”
Me: “Can you please repeat the boundary?”
Him: “You’re really putting up walls. That’s unhealthy. You have to talk to me and allow me to remain in your life.”
Me: “Did you hear my last question?”
Him: “Let’s do something together. Come with me, we’re going on a date. It won’t cost anything. Did you bring some extra food with you?”
Me: “Leave me alone.”
Him: “I have planned for us to go for a walk, just the two of us. Luckily, I have no plans this afternoon.”
Me: “You’re violating my rights. I asked you to leave me alone.”
Him: “I’m really good looking.”
Me: “I’m not interested in you. Please look for a woman who enjoys being stalked and harassed and leave me alone.”
Him: “When you leave your flat in the morning, wear makeup. It’s embarrassing to go out without makeup on.”
Me: “I asked you to leave me alone. How I look or dress is none of your business.”
Him: “You should go and buy new clothes. You would look more stylish with new clothes. Let me tell you what you should wear. Other women are sexier than you—let me show you what’s stylish and what looks good on you.”
Me: “Don’t you have anything better to do with your time than focus on how I look and dress? My body and my life are none of your business. Stop harassing me. You should learn basic social skills and respect women. I am not your parent, and I am not responsible for teaching you that—but I’m pointing it out because this is unacceptable behavior. Now, leave me alone, I need to focus on my own tasks.”
Him: “I’m more intelligent than you.”
Me: “I told you I am not interested in talking to you. Leave me alone.”
Him: “If you don’t date me and have sex with me, I am going to kill you.”
Me: “I have more pressing things to do. Leave me alone.”
Him: “You’re antisocial. No wonder others don’t want anything to do with you.”
Me: “Stop talking and leave me alone.”
(On and on it goes.)
Have you ever been stalked?
On a side note:
I had disabled comments for the past few years due to stalking. I’ve now reactivated them on all posts, so feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of the page. Please stay polite and respectful in your comments, or I will have to delete them!