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China Elevator Stories
Erotomania, Fregoli Delusion, Peter Pan Syndrome, and Other Disorders
I did some research and found a few disorders I encountered with one particular stalker.
23/03/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I wrote in another article that the list of selfish behaviors one stalker I have been dealing with for years is longer than a roll of toilet paper. The same is the case with the disorders this person is suffering from. Usually, a disorder itself isn’t the problem; it’s when a person with a disorder harasses and harms others that the issue arises.
Now, certainly, I wouldn’t be willing to get together with such a person, but in his mind, I would, which has not only led to him stalking me for years, but also pretending that I am into him. Certainly, when you are being stalked by another person, the person initiating the stalking would be the person who is obsessed with you, not the other way around. Because his claims that I need to be into him and that I can’t possibly not be have been so excessive, I did some research using ChatGPT to ask for the specific terms of these disorders. I thought he was simply suffering from schizophrenia (which he does), but actually, there is a more specific term for his behavior. Other unhealthy behaviors are listed below as well.
If you are dealing with a sociopath, you may be dealing with similar behavior, particularly if they are histrionic. Often, with regards to personality disorders, you’ll find a whole lot of disorders all within just one person, and those who are harder to deal with are usually those who don’t only suffer from narcissism, but also a combination of other disorders.
Here are some of the more remarkable ones I found (explanations provided by ChatGPT):
“Erotomania: Erotomania is a delusional disorder where someone believes another person (often of higher status) is in love with them, sometimes leading to excessive sexualized behavior.”
“Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) – A personality disorder characterized by excessive attention-seeking behaviors, including seductive behavior, a need for approval, and emotional exaggeration.”
The emotions you’ll find within such a person are extreme. While everyone can become extreme (when provoked by a histrionic person constantly), these are people who are naturally overly dramatic with their emotions. If somebody would feel more peaceful emotions, a histrionic person would feel a lot of extreme emotions in the same situation, emotions such as jealousy, hatred, anger, … They are usually overly dramatic and need to create drama when there is none, and need to create dysfunction when there is “function”.
This particular histrionic man acts more like a woman, which may be partly because he is histrionic, but also simply because he doesn’t seem to understand that there is a difference between men and women. I have seen women act like him before, but have rarely observed that a man stoops as low as he does. He’ll be playing the victim, he’ll put himself into a position of being a “child”, with you having to be the grown-up taking care of him (instead of being a grown up who takes care of himself), he’ll be pouting, he’ll tell you all sorts of things in an emotionally immature manner, but if you point out how childish he is, he’ll tell you “you aren’t dealing correctly with regards to your emotions, that you don’t actually feel emotions because you aren’t overly hysterical in normal situations, etc.
This person’s behavior is totally crazy making, as is any narcissist’s behavior, but it is even harder to endure because of his histrionic traits. To me, the way I remember what “histrionic” means is “hysterical”, because a lot of the behaviors are overly dramatic and hysterical.
“Hypersexuality (Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder): A condition where a person exhibits excessive preoccupation with sexual thoughts or behaviors, which could manifest as dressing provocatively or seeking constant sexual validation.”
In the case of this particular person, this has led to increased seductive behavior, with him portraying himself as overly attractive and refusing to accept that I am not interested in him, either sexually or otherwise. I have observed that men with this disorder often talk about sex constantly, or discuss topics like pornography and masturbation. They may also have a constant desire for sex. Even after being told that you’re not interested, they may attempt to push themselves onto you, trying to coerce you into sharing your sexuality with them, seeing them naked, or engaging in sex with them. In some cases, more malignant narcissists may demand constant sex or even pressure you into situations where you feel forced into sexual acts. This can include repeated instances of sexual assault, especially if you are dealing with someone who is a sex addict and doesn’t respect boundaries.
Their entire life may revolve around sex—having it, talking about it, and thinking about it. They may try to draw you into a dynamic where they expect you to act like a porn star. It’s common for such men to attempt to mold you into that role, making sex feel degrading and dehumanizing. Unlike with someone for whom sex is just one aspect of life, with them, it consumes everything.
Some of these men may want sex three to four times a day, struggle with porn addiction, or engage in other promiscuous behaviors. While some may have multiple sexual partners even in long-term relationships, others may not always seek sex but will constantly talk about sexual topics. Some will try to make you objectify yourself, treating you as a sex object. They may also be highly possessive, wanting you to be a sexual object only for them but not in public.
Hypersexual women often engage in constant sexual objectification and seek attention from men through sexual behavior. Unlike non-hypersexual women, they may lack healthy sexual boundaries. While they may have a normal sex life, sex will not simply be one aspect of their life—it will be their primary focus, rather than just one part of a balanced lifestyle.
While many women may choose to dress sexy, hypersexual men and women tend to dress overly provocatively or promiscuously, often without regard for social settings. For example, you might not want to see a half-naked man at work, but a hypersexual man may dress that way, “pushing his sexuality” onto others. Hypersexual women may speak in an overly seductive manner, give seductive looks, and— for lack of a better term—intentionally expose parts of their breasts, regardless of whether they are interacting with men or women, seeking attention for their body.
Now, this isn’t to say that people shouldn’t dress sexy—they absolutely can! However, hypersexual men and women often push their body and sexuality onto others, which can be uncomfortable. This is different from someone who simply dresses sexy without imposing their sexuality on others.
“Fregoli Delusion: This is a condition where another person believes they are you.”
If you are dealing with such a person, know that these are the worst. They will constantly think they know what you’re feeling, when they don’t, that they know who you are, when they don’t, that they are you, when they aren’t, and feel entitled to all that you have—your stuff, your flat, your relationships, your projects, etc. They may be starting to “play you”. This kind of person is rather schizophrenic and this is really the worst kind of stalker you can imagine having to endure. They will constantly claim that they are you. Initially, they may give themselves away by stealing all of your interests and hobbies. If it becomes so obsessive that you can’t have your own hobbies anymore because somebody copies all of them and doesn’t allow you to have your own hobbies and interests, you know you’re dealing with a person who doesn’t have a stable identity and this could be one of the first signs someone is suffering from Fregoli Delusion. I believe my former mother-in-law, who was also a sociopath, just like this person, had this as well, since she believed and acted like the mother of my children, not like their grandmother (her sickness resulted in me having my children stolen from me to be raised by a mentally ill person who doesn’t care about the well-being of my children and their psychological health).
Another disorder I have been able to identify, with the help of ChatGPT, is Identity Delusions in Schizophrenia, specifically Grandiose Delusions. A person with this delusion may believe they are a famous figure, such as Jesus, Napoleon, or a celebrity. This can sometimes be seen in individuals who are spiritual and aspire to become famous spiritual leaders, seeking followers and attempting to impose their extreme beliefs on others. They may try to force people to believe in things that are unreasonable or harmful, using cult-like methods to do so—such as preventing others from holding their own belief systems.
“Intermetamorphosis (Delusional Misidentification): A rare condition where a person believes they are physically transforming into someone else.”
After watching a video, they may act, dress, and believe they have become that person. They may act as though they are that person and may not stop doing so over long periods of time, think months (usually, it takes a little longer to observe if a person is simply acting or if they have an actual disorder). They may think that if a person they saw in a video (or even in real life) is famous or a successful person, such as an actor, that they then have become that person and are just as famous and successful. They may be running around playing that person, making others believe they are just as great and successful as the person they are playing.
I did some more research because this particular stalker thinks that everything I own – my possessions, my relationships, my projects, and everything I do is automatically his. I have observed this behavior for a few years now, and while I thought he did understand that my things aren’t his cognitively initially, I now believe in his mind, he really doesn’t understand that my things aren’t his things. The term I came across, not surprisingly, was schizophrenia (in this circumstance with delusional beliefs about ownership).
ChatGPT explains it as follows:
“Some individuals with schizophrenia may develop delusions that they are entitled to someone else’s belongings. For example, they might believe, ‘This house is actually mine,’ even if it belongs to someone else.”
I believe that some Nazis who expropriated Jewish people also suffered from this disorder. I have experienced similar situations multiple times—narcissists attempting to take everything I own and ensuring I have nowhere to live. To be honest, most Nazis were probably malignant narcissists, at least those who joined voluntarily rather than out of fear for their own lives. This disorder seems common among severe narcissists, while those who are less extreme may only exhibit standard narcissistic traits.
This particular stalker believes I have no right to my own belongings or even to live in my own flat. He thinks that the little I have is already too much. I am not a wealthy person, yet he views me in the same way a Nazi viewed a Jewish person during World War II—as someone whose possessions must be taken away at all costs. In his mind, others have the right to own their property and live in their homes, but I do not.
I have no explanation for why he treats me so differently from others. Being born an introvert and a HSP are hardly a rational reason, but then again, his grandiose delusions are anything but rational.
It also mentioned that this kind of thinking can be prevalent in the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), in what ChatGPT calls the Theory of Mind Deficit:
“Some individuals with ASD might struggle with the concept of personal ownership, especially at a young age. This is usually due to difficulties in understanding social norms rather than malice.”
Now, certainly, he won’t believe that his things are someone else’s things, but he’ll believe that your things are all his and that he is entitled to have access to all of what’s yours and that he’s also entitled to have access to you and your relationships, not being able to see that the “you” is different from the “I”.
One other particularly extreme disorder he has is also that he doesn’t act like a grown up, but treats life like a game that is played, not taking serious situations seriously, and attaching to a stranger to then take care of him like a child. There were various disorders ChatGPT described when I asked if there were disorders that came with such behavior, and these are a few that were mentioned:
“Peter Pan Syndrome: While not a formally recognized disorder, this term is commonly used to describe adults who refuse to grow up, avoiding adult responsibilities and acting childishly, as if life is just a game or playtime. These individuals often avoid commitment, work, and the responsibilities associated with adulthood, choosing to engage in immature behaviors instead. It can sometimes be linked to emotional immaturity or narcissistic tendencies, where the person wants to stay in a constant state of gratification and play.”
“Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD): While this disorder typically involves over-reliance on others, people with DPD may also behave in an immature or childlike manner. They may not take responsibility for their actions and may avoid adult roles by relying on others to take care of them. Their behaviors might include acting helpless or unable to take responsibility for themselves, which can sometimes come across as very toddler-like behavior.”
“Adult ADHD with Hyperactivity: In cases of Adult ADHD, especially in those with significant hyperactive traits, a person might see everything as an opportunity for fun and may constantly jump from activity to activity without considering the seriousness or consequences of their actions. They may turn mundane tasks, like shopping or talking to people, into an opportunity for excessive playfulness or stimulation.”
I have found that this person has ADHD and is extremely hyperactive, preventing others from feeling calm or rested. They push people into a constant state of heightened alertness, never allowing them to sit peacefully. Instead, they force an awareness of every minor detail in the surroundings—often at the expense of seeing the bigger picture. This distraction makes it difficult to focus on what truly matters, such as paying attention to passing cars while crossing the street rather than fixating on the color of a stranger’s eyes.
A behavioral trait he has that didn’t make it onto the list of disorders, but can be seen as a disorder within this particular individual because it is really very excessive control he feels the need to have, is being a control freak. According to ChatGPT, this is a behavioral trait:
“While not a formal disorder, the term control freak is commonly used to describe someone who feels the need to control everything around them, including people, situations, and environments. These individuals often impose arbitrary rules, feel uncomfortable with uncertainty, and try to micromanage those around them, even in areas where it is unnecessary or unhelpful.”
As to the role reversal this individual performs, where you are really forced to become the “man” (no matter if you’re in a relationship with him or if he is simply trying to push an unwanted relationship with him onto you), ChatGPT gave various explanations of what this may point to:
“Unconscious Gender Role Reversal – This may not be a conscious realization, but rather a role reversal where the man has internalized certain expectations or desires for the woman to embody more traditionally “masculine” traits (e.g., being independent, the primary financial provider, making decisions) while he adopts the more passive, nurturing, or dependent role. This could be due to a range of factors, like personal history, childhood experiences, or societal influences, but the man might not fully recognize it as a gender-related issue.”
“Dependency and Avoidant Behavior – It’s possible the man exhibits dependent behavior, relying on the woman to take charge and provide. This might come from a fear of responsibility or a desire to avoid confrontation, stress, or decision-making. In psychological terms, it could indicate a dependent personality disorder (DPD) or avoidant personality traits, where the individual avoids responsibility or challenges, preferring to let someone else take the lead in the relationship.”
“Masculinity and Emotional Avoidance – The man could be displaying a form of emotional avoidance or emasculation, where he may feel uncomfortable with traditional notions of masculinity or with being expected to meet those standards (e.g., being the primary provider, taking on leadership). His behaviors might stem from insecurity or anxiety about fulfilling these roles, so he unconsciously shifts those responsibilities onto the woman. This could reflect a low self-esteem or a lack of confidence in his own ability to be a provider or leader.”
“Reluctance to Embrace Traditional Masculinity – There may be an internal conflict where the man feels that being ‘masculine’ or taking on traditional provider roles doesn’t fit with his self-concept, but he hasn’t fully explored or acknowledged this. He might unconsciously wish to be in a relationship where he can be more passive or “feminine” without fully recognizing it. This behavior could be an expression of that desire, without the self-awareness of its deeper roots.”
“Factitious Disorder (Including Munchausen Syndrome): Individuals with Factitious Disorder seek attention by fabricating, exaggerating, or even inducing symptoms of victimization or danger. Some may enjoy the process of making reports to the police and receiving validation as a ‘victim.’”
This is particularly dangerous for real victims of abusers. The abuser may report them for actions the abuser has actually done to them. In turn, the real victim may not be able to report the actual abuser, who is pretending to be the victim. Many women who have dealt with dangerous narcissists have reported similar experiences. Their abuser reported them to the police or other authorities. As a result, they had to repeatedly deal with legal authorities.
After the stalker reported me to the police, he felt really powerful. He enjoyed the acknowledgment of his “victim status” from the police. As a narcissist, he thrives on playing the victim. Like many narcissists, he constantly believes he is being wronged—especially by women. In reality, though, he is the one abusing women, not the other way around.
If you are a real victim and feel like one, know that your feelings are valid. I don’t judge you. However, when a perpetrator plays the victim—especially to the real victim’s face—that is another story entirely.
I have also come across Munchausen by Proxy (MBP)—Reverse Manipulation Variant within this particular individual:
“While MBP usually involves fabricating illness for attention, a rare variation occurs when someone insists a sick person is fine because they don’t want to lose control over them.”
A malignant narcissist may act as though you are healthy when you are actually sick. They may want you to die or avoid getting the help you need. Alternatively, they may not want you to get better so you can leave them.
In the case of this particular stalker, you aren’t allowed to be sick or have needs. He expects others to take care of him. He demands that they pretend they aren’t sick and are completely healthy, even when facing life-threatening diseases. This prevents others from caring for themselves when they are unwell. Instead, he forces them to care for him.
This can extend to serious illnesses, like heart attacks, where you would need rest to recover. It also happens when you experience symptoms, such as those of a heart attack. In these situations, he plays the victim, acting as though he’s sick. He does whatever is necessary to push you to the brink of death. He punishes you for “pretending” to be weaker than you are (when you’re not). He also accuses you of being selfish if you want to care for yourself after having a heart attack.
I have found that this behavior is not only common in him but also in others. Some narcissists feign illnesses, while others ask you not to “be sick” when you actually are. They deny you the chance to recover by not allowing you to rest. Instead, they demand that you tend to their needs, which are often not real needs. These are needs they could easily take care of themselves, rather than pushing another person to tend to them.
“Eating Disorder Fetishism (Anorexia Fetishism): Some individuals may be sexually aroused by extreme thinness or by controlling a partner’s weight. This can be linked to body image obsession or control issues rather than a recognized mental disorder.”
This particular individual has excessively shamed me whenever I ate normally and has tried to block me from eating in the past. He would only be happy if he could make sure I couldn’t eat, and tried to turn me into an anorexic person, wanting to force me to lose weight, pointing to a fetishism he has that a woman needs to look model-thin, that she needs to be underweight to be attractive. I pointed out to him that his behavior was quite sick, but like always, he lacks the ability to reflect on his sick behavior and see it as sick, not normal.
I also found that he was really looking for a mother figure, wanting to date a woman who has children, in particular. To me, this is rather disgusting and not healthy, and ChatGPT mentioned a few terms that correlate with such a phenomenon, as well as gave advice:
“1. Jocasta Complex (Reverse Oedipus Complex): While the Jocasta Complex traditionally refers to a mother’s inappropriate attachment to her son, in a reversed form, it can describe a man who seeks a motherly role in his partner. This can stem from unresolved childhood issues, such as an absent or emotionally unavailable mother.
2. Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD): This disorder involves excessive dependence on others for emotional and physical needs. A man with DPD may actively seek out a nurturing, caregiving partner (often slightly older or already experienced in caretaking, such as a mother). They may feel unable to function independently, leading them to seek a woman who provides emotional and practical support.
3. Maternal Attachment Issues (Mommy Issues): Some men unconsciously seek partners who resemble their mother (in personality or caretaking role) due to unresolved childhood dependency needs. If they lacked a nurturing mother figure, they may look for this dynamic in romantic relationships.
4. Emotional Enmeshment or Role Reversal: Some individuals have difficulty distinguishing healthy adult relationships from parent-child dynamics. They may subconsciously desire a partner who will take care of them as a mother would.
5. Fetishistic or Psychological Attraction to Maternal Figures: While not a disorder, some men are sexually or emotionally attracted to maternal figures, preferring women who embody motherly traits. They may be drawn to single mothers due to their nurturing and caregiving qualities.
Is this problematic?
If the man is emotionally immature and expects the woman to play a motherly role rather than being an equal partner, it could lead to an unhealthy dynamic.”
In recent years, I have repeatedly experienced baby boys (oh, sorry, adult men between the ages of 18 and 27) flirting with me and trying to get me to have sex with them. I stay away from these men, as I don’t have pedophilia (or whatever you’d call it when the men are already adults but still quite young). However, I believe that a majority of them may suffer from this disorder. While I may look younger than my age to some men, I certainly don’t look like I’m 17 or 18 (I am currently 37).
I’m not sure any woman would want to be with a man like this stalker, at least not a healthy one, especially if she knows a little about him. He usually tries to hide the truth about himself and keeps every detail a secret. Yet, he expects you to share everything about yourself with him, so he can use the information he gathers against you.
Have you ever met anyone who was mentally ill?