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The Cycle of Hatred: Why Some Wars Never End
Sometimes, you are accidentally drawn into a war.
11/03/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
How does a war start? Sometimes, nations have had enemies for centuries. Certain countries have engaged in war in the past, and tensions between them still persist. Some nations, I have observed, do not focus on creating peace but instead propagate hatred by portraying another country as the enemy. They show TV shows where their nation is attacked by the supposed enemy and do not promote forgiveness, but rather incite violence and resentment toward the country that once attacked them. A war fought decades or even a century ago is thus kept alive, preventing true healing. If an entire nation is exposed to such messages—where hatred toward an enemy is encouraged rather than forgiveness—then past conflicts are never truly resolved but passed down to future generations.
Other times, war starts because of a malignant narcissist who wants something another country possesses. He may be dissatisfied with the size of his nation or covet the resources of another.
But when dealing with a malignant narcissist, sometimes you are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Malignant narcissists attack and seek to destroy others, period. You may have crossed their path by chance and become their target simply because you exist.
A narcissist often resents qualities in others that they themselves lack. If they are extroverted, they may target you for being introverted. If they lack sensitivity, they may try to harm you because you are highly sensitive. If they are a man, they may wish you harm simply because you are a woman—perhaps due to a past negative experience with someone else, for which you unfairly bear the consequences. If they are not successful or famous, they may resent you for being so and even take steps to destroy you. Every malignant narcissist is jealous and greedy. While some may conceal it for a while, they usually cannot hide it forever. Sooner or later, they will either try to take what is yours or destroy it so that you no longer have it. They will not stop until either you or everything you own is completely ruined—or until you are dead.
If an individual repeatedly encounters malignant narcissists behaving this way, they have experienced this pattern on a smaller scale. The same pattern can occur on a larger scale—for example, when a country is attacked by another nation.
Once you are drawn into a war, escaping from it is not easy. When I refer to “war,” I am talking about personal battles with narcissists—conflicts where no bombs are used but where you are attacked for something you have. However, the same patterns of behavior that apply to these smaller situations can also be observed on a larger scale, such as in international conflicts.
In conflicts like these, people are sometimes unfairly blamed for the actions of others. Many believe that it takes two to fight, but I disagree. A single person can initiate a fight, just as one leader can start a war. Others may be dragged into conflict through no fault of their own—whether as individuals or as entire nations. You might be attacked simply because someone resents something about you, though this often reflects more about them than it does about you. Those with integrity are often targeted by those who lack it. Similarly, wars can arise not because of wrongdoing, but because one country covets what another possesses.
Have you ever been drawn into a war?
On a side note:
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