articles
China Elevator Stories
Competition: When Others Compete with You, the Person Who is Talented and Great is You
I have experienced years of competition.
08/03/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I have experienced years of competition from a man (a stalker) who is quite mentally deranged and has a very distorted way of living life.
Everything that is natural and inborn must be destroyed and replaced with something artificial, including emotions. When you enjoy spending time alone, he’ll be there, forcing you to spend it with him. When you are introverted, he’ll sadistically torment you until you act like an extrovert, coercing you—bullying you until you give in and start talking, screaming, or acting out in anger because he provoked you for hours. Instead of allowing you to remain quiet, which would be your natural way of being, he forces you to behave otherwise. When you are happy, he’ll ruin the mood by doing something weird and catastrophically embarrassing that destroys the atmosphere (it works every time, and he does it constantly).
Is competition ever healthy?
No, competition is never healthy. A person who likes to create does so from within themselves if they were “born” to create. When they rely on external factors to manifest their creations instead of doing things naturally, what is innate turns into an unnatural process. A person who is talented in writing usually writes for the sake of writing, not because they want others to like their work or because they seek fame. Another person’s competition with us may put us into a constant fight-or-flight state, placing extreme stress on our nervous system.
When I write, I am usually relaxed when others leave me alone—and things flow naturally.
But when a stalker interferes, he disrupts my flow horrifically. He does this by telling me how ugly I am, how bad my writing is, that I’ll never measure up to anything, that everyone else is better than me, that I am not good enough at English, that my English is horrendous, and that he is much better at everything I do. He also tells me that I’m not allowed to write, that I have some ulterior, evil motive or dark agenda when I write, and that I am extremely selfish when I take time for myself, my children, or to write. (The line “Darling, I’m selfish” is from the song One Good Reason by Snake City, which is featured in my latest video—it makes me laugh when the most selfish narcissist you could imagine calls me “selfish” for not wanting to “spend time with him” or “be harassed by him” and for taking time for myself or my children, or any other important task.)
This shows how deranged this individual is. He competes over everything—what I am allowed to wear, whether I should put on makeup in the morning, and how I must behave in social situations (he has very poor social behavior, so this is a projection, no sociopathic individual behaves well in social situations, and sociopaths aren’t usually able to understand what acceptable social behavior looks like and what it doesn’t). He constantly invents strange, nonexistent social rules that supposedly apply to me, then puts me down for not following them. There is never any relaxation—everything is a competition.
When I cut my hair, he competes with me, refusing to let me be “more beautiful” than him. He started doing this after noticing that various men were flirting with me when I was outside. Not that I care much about such insignificant occurrences, nor is it anything new to me—it happens all the time, no matter where I go or what I do. (This is also why I dislike living here. People call it “pretty privilege,” but it’s not an actual privilege; flirting can easily escalate into harassment.)
Nor do I waste my time chasing men or constantly discussing superficial dating. I am only interested in a real relationship with real commitment—one that is lived, not talked about theoretically. His escapism is extreme; he doesn’t actually live in reality.
In my opinion, a man who stalks a woman and “wants to be with her,” but then competes and fights over everything, certainly doesn’t understand social norms. Every boyfriend I’ve had has complimented my appearance (which is normal—you usually find your partner attractive, and you should expect a boyfriend to compliment you; if he doesn’t, send him for the hills). I would never date someone who is incapable of giving a compliment to the opposite sex. If you can’t sincerely compliment someone, it only shows how greedy and jealous you are and usually points to narcissism—a narcissist can’t stand it when others are prettier, more successful, or more talented than them. (Not that I would ever want to hear anything from this person, including a compliment.)
I never liked people who compete over everything. He even insists that his way of living is the best and then tries to impose his deranged lifestyle onto others. His need for control is constant—he never allows you to simply relax, rest, be quiet, be alone, and be unbothered by him.
A man who competes with a woman is not very masculine
I don’t like competitive people because, in my opinion, they always ruin the fun for everyone and don’t understand how to enjoy life. However, if men compete with other men, it is much healthier than when men compete with women. A man constantly competing with a woman comes across as acting more like a woman himself—he lacks masculinity.
To me, a truly self-confident man doesn’t need to compete with others. He knows what he is good at and what he isn’t, but he doesn’t feel the need to constantly brag. He is secure in himself and able to relax and enjoy life. Constant competition is foolish—especially when a man competes with a woman, brags about being more intelligent while proving every day that he actually has very low intelligence, and feels the need to always win even when he is clearly wrong. This forces the other person into a constant state of stress and a cycle of trying to stop the competition.
People who have such an extreme need to compete behave irrationally and immaturely.
If your life revolves around always having to win, your inner values are misaligned. Life is not about winning and competing—it is about being and living. If you are fulfilled, content with yourself, and satisfied with your achievements, you won’t feel the need to compete with others—especially not with a woman who is essentially a stranger and wants nothing to do with you.
Have you ever dealt with people who constantly competed with you?
On a side note:
I had disabled comments for the past few years due to stalking. I’ve now reactivated them on all posts, so feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of the page. Please stay polite and respectful in your comments, or I will have to delete them!
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Thank you for your comment. You’re free to quote content from my blog if you mention my name and link to my blog.