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China Elevator Stories
A narcissist's self-esteem is like a chocolate Easter Bunny
On the surface, a narcissist may seem confident and self-assured, but deep down, their self-esteem is hollow and fragile.
13/03/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I have written about real and perceived self-confidence in another post. If you have ever been in the vicinity of a person with low self-esteem, you’ll likely have noticed that they constantly try to drag others down to their level—especially if they are a malignant narcissist.
A narcissist’s self-esteem is just an act
The self-esteem of a malignant narcissist is like a chocolate Easter Bunny. At first glance, they may appear to have self-esteem—just like an Easter Bunny seems solid from the outside. This is the image they present to the world through bragging, boasting, and pretending to be the most beautiful, intelligent, or successful person. But on the inside, they lack real self-worth. Their self-esteem is nothing but a hollow void.
If we look at the chocolate on the outside and have never eaten an Easter Bunny, we wouldn’t know that there’s nothing inside. Similarly, when meeting a narcissist for the first time, their grandiose self-image may seem convincing. The chocolate on the outside represents what they say about themselves, how they present their lives, and the image they try to uphold. The empty space inside represents what truly exists—nothing.
Bragging, lies, and exaggeration
When a narcissist brags about their looks, success, or achievements, you may find that much of it is exaggerated or entirely untrue. Even when they have achieved something, they often focus only on their successes while hiding or denying their failures. A narcissist’s self-confidence is usually very fragile, and to make themselves feel better, they will do almost anything to bring others down to their level.
A narcissist is never satisfied and never fulfilled
They are also never satisfied with anything. While they may proudly display their house, car, or possessions, these things never truly fulfill them. There is always something missing, something more they need to acquire, someone else they need to compete with.
A person who is not a narcissist will eventually find contentment when they have the basic necessities for a comfortable life. They will feel grateful for their home, good food, or the time they can spend with loved ones. A narcissist, however, never reaches that point. They have a void inside them that constantly needs to be filled, but no matter how much they add, it is never enough. It’s like a hole at the bottom of an Easter Bunny—everything they put in simply falls through.
Even during what should be enjoyable moments—like sitting in a café with a cup of coffee—a narcissist is unable to be present. Instead of simply enjoying the moment, they will be thinking about how they can impress others, how they appear to those around them, or how they can use the situation to gain admiration. If they aren’t focused on their image, they may be spreading negativity—complaining about the coffee, the service, or anything else that isn’t “good enough.”
They never truly enjoy anything, and they are never grateful. If you spend time with them, you won’t be allowed to enjoy yourself either. If you are happy, they will find a way to ruin your mood—either by spreading negativity or by deliberately provoking you. They may even claim that they are the happy ones and that you are the miserable one, when in reality, they have spent their time making sure you aren’t happy. This is either intentional manipulation or projection—something narcissists frequently do.
A narcissist lacks self-awareness
When you try to hold a mirror up to them, you’ll quickly find that they cannot see themselves clearly. Instead of reflecting on their actions, they will turn everything back on you. If you try to tell them the truth, they will accuse you of being the problem. If they behave badly, they will insist that you are the one at fault. If they stalk you, they will claim that you are stalking them.
Not only do they have a void that can never be filled, but they also lack the ability to see themselves honestly. If you suggest that they should focus on becoming happier or more satisfied with life, they will reject the idea entirely. Instead, they spread their negativity, constantly complaining, judging others unfairly, and dragging people down with them.
They may ruin your mood with their endless hunger for validation, their inability to be content, and their relentless negativity. A narcissist can easily be identified by this pattern—no matter how much they acquire or achieve, they are never fulfilled. There is always another shopping spree, another conquest, another moment where they must prove their worth to others. But in the end, the hole inside them remains.
Have you ever dealt with a narcissist who was never satisfied or happy?
On a side note:
I had disabled comments for the past few years due to stalking. I’ve now reactivated them on all posts, so feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of the page. Please stay polite and respectful in your comments, or I will have to delete them!