China Elevator Stories

When A Stalker Is Living His Life With You In It

No woman should ever have to deal with a mentally ill stalker who tries to make her his therapist or caregiver.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


The sociopathic stalker I have is the creepiest stalker I have ever had (and I have had quite a few stalkers). He would be much better off seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist, if you ask me, than constantly trying to get in contact with me or trying to get close to me.

The video I am sharing above is a documentary in German about stalking. Jasmin Wagner, a German actress who has been stalked by a mentally ill man, is one of the women who are featured in the documentary who talks about her experience of being stalked.

The term stalking is defined at the beginning of the documentary as a word that stems from the English hunter’s jargon and means “to go hunting”. This means that the perpetrator follows and exerts pressure on his victim.

The situation I am finding myself in is similar to what Jasmin Wagner describes in this video about stalking, where my stalker has started to live a life with me in his head. I have translated parts of the documentary into English:

At minute 21:21, Jasmin Wagner says about some of her fans:

“They write letters which make it obvious that they are interested in me in a completely different way, and that they have sometimes already started to live a life with me, even though I am not playing a role in it, not an active role, but in their mind I have already become a part of their life, and this has started years ago.”

The speaker in the documentary then goes on: “A life with Jasmin Wagner is also something a fan named Lucky wishes for. He documents her life in an online forum and writes about his emotions: ‘Euphoria, hope, nothing but media stuff, big plans for the future, wonderful feelings of being in love, persistent efforts to receive Jasmin’s love’.”

When his feelings for her are not reciprocated, his feelings and tone change.

“I made several more courageous attempts to get in touch with Jasmin, but Wagner was still cold, ignorant and a piece of shit, as always”, her stalker writes.

For psychologist Wolf Ortiz-Müller, Jasmin Wagner’s fan Lucky is an extreme example of a typical celebrity stalker: “We often notice that stalkers are not capable of having a normal inter-sexual relationship, a romantic relationship, because the whole process of closeness and distance would cause them a lot of anxiety. A star offers the opportunity to idealize this person, and to do so from a safe distance. You never have to correct this false picture you have with reality by having a real relationship, where you can then see that every person is not only great, but also has pretty boring, dull or annoying characteristics.”

Jasmin Wagner says: “In my experience, confronting him directly does not work. When I talk to him, in his eyes, this means that he is getting attention, and he then misinterprets this.”

I have tried to do the same and have found this to be true.

Have you ever been stalked?

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