China Elevator Stories

the earth rotates around you

When you are dealing with a gaslighter, what is up is down and what is down is up.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


“I have a right to be in this group with you, you have no right to exclude me,” the sociopathic stalker who is still stalking and harassing me horrifically every day once told me.

“I have a right to watch your children when you have video calls with them,” is another thing he said when I asked him to respect my privacy and to (please, for god’s sake!) leave me alone. No sick and crazy person has a right to watch my video calls with my children, I mean, no person has a right to watch these calls at all, not even a sane one, because these calls are not movies that are being shown in a cinema, with this person being invited to watch these movies for free.

The problem with a stalker is that when you try to bring the truth to light about the stalking and the crazy behavior you have experienced from this person – even if you write about the extremely negative things he has done to you – he will still pretend this is you wanting contact with him or you being in love with him. When I tried to ask others for help in the past so I could live a normal life again, this person’s stalking, gaslighting and harassment usually went up a notch, not down.

The same has been the case these past few days.

When I tell him to please leave me alone, in his eyes, it is not me ‘not wanting contact’, it is me ‘wanting contact’, it is not me ‘having this right’, it is me ‘not having this right’, because ‘women don’t have such a right’ and he ‘has the right’ to be in my computer, to be in my emails, to appear wherever I am. ‘I have no right to not talk to him’, ‘I have an obligation to talk to him’, so his words. What this person has been projecting onto me these past few years has been absolutely crazy (to put it nicely).

When I tell this person, ‘No, we did not have a relationship’, what he’ll come back with is, ‘You were so much in love with me and we did have a relationship’. And then he’ll send me pictures of him and tell me how beautiful and sexy // I think // he is. Uhm, really – this is what I think? Okay, thanks for telling me, because what I say is certainly not what I think, but what he says I think is what I think instead. I have repeatedly told him I thought he was rather ugly and that he is simply not my type (just so there could be no misunderstanding).

Because, certainly I like to have a relationship with a man that is the same in his behavior, words and actions as an incel (no joke)!

Not talking, which is very nice if you are allowed to do when you are an introvert, is ‘you giving him the silent treatment’, is ‘you ghosting him’, is not him inviting himself to conversations I was never meant to even have to have in the first place.

In his eyes, he is ‘important to me’, not unimportant. And I would have to tell him that and not be allowed to say the truth, which is that this person is absolutely unimportant in my life. He simply has no importance to me. I am not saying this to be rude, I am simply saying this because it is the truth. I am not running after this person, I am not trying to find out information about him, I am not into his career, his business (false self-employment), his looks, his whatever it is he is constantly rotating around and is trying to make me rotate around. As though the earth and every person on it, no matter if they wanted to or not, were all magnetically rotating around this one single person!

It is always ‘him, him, him’.

It is always about what he wants, what he thinks, what he thinks I need to think about him, what he thinks I just thought that I didn’t even think, that he knows best what’s good for me (yikes! I love projections like these), that he knows everything, that he knows me (no, you do not know me, you simply watch everything I do, which is not the same as actually ‘knowing someone’).

Anyways – sick person who has nothing else to do than to constantly stalk and harass me: Leave my life, please, thanks, and goodbye forever.

Have you ever had to deal with an insane stalker?

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