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China Elevator Stories
The Connection Between Pretty Privilege and Harassment
“Pretty privilege” can contribute to harassment and other negative experiences.
04/04/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I recently came across the term “pretty privilege,” which describes the experiences that “pretty women” often face, sometimes on a daily basis. While being pretty is typically considered a trait many admire and desire, it can also come with its own set of challenges. Many women who are considered pretty have encountered the negative aspects that accompany this perceived advantage.
Though being pretty may seem like a privilege, it can sometimes feel like the opposite, leading to dangerous and even life-threatening situations. For instance, a man might feel entitled to possess you and could become violent if you reject him.
If you aren’t aware that you’re pretty, you may wonder why you are constantly harassed by men while other women don’t experience the same. This might lead you to conclude that something must be wrong with you since you are repeatedly targeted, while others are not.
When it comes to the opposite sex, “pretty privilege” can lead to the following negative experiences:
- Constant sexual harassment or even assault.
- Being raped (not to say that you can only be raped if you’re attractive, but the likelihood of being targeted may be higher for those considered more attractive, as some men who aren’t able to attract beautiful women may resort to rape as a way to try to get sex from someone who wouldn’t typically be willing to have sex with them).
- Attracting stalkers repeatedly.
- Being touched inappropriately by strangers or acquaintances.
- Receiving compliments focused solely on your looks, without being recognized for your personality, skills, or character.
- Difficulty finding a suitable partner, as many men may be primarily interested in your appearance rather than your personality or values.
- Facing sexual advances or being treated as an object by superiors, especially men your age or older.
- Being hired for your looks rather than your actual qualifications.
In terms of same-sex interactions, “pretty privilege” can lead to:
- Female family members being jealous of your looks and excluding you from the family (this kind of competition can be either out in the open or hidden).
- Being seen as less intelligent than you are because you are “good looking.”
- Coworkers turning against you due to jealousy of your appearance.
- Being fired or overlooked by a female boss who sees you as competition or feels threatened by your appearance—fearing it may distract from her own—or being kept in a lower position to avoid becoming a perceived threat.
If you are constantly being harassed, you may find that people stop believing you. Many often assume that harassment is something that happens occasionally, not all the time. However, if you are attractive, you might experience it continuously, not just once in a while. Be aware that the police may not take repeated reports of stalking seriously, especially when the harassment comes from various men. There are organizations that can offer legal or other advice, but getting the right help can be difficult—particularly if authorities don’t take these situations seriously or if you live in a patriarchal society where men and male abusers are often protected at all costs.
Victims aren’t usually protected sufficiently, and perpetrators often experience more protection than victims.
This is one answer I received from one organization in Vienna that specializes in sexual harassment and other similar situations in the workplace with regards to one particular superior who harassed me:
“Staring at body parts, lewd looks, or any other form of physical intrusion is considered sexual harassment under the Equal Treatment Act. This is prohibited, and you shouldn’t have to put up with this kind of treatment.
You have already taken brave steps to protect yourself. On one hand, you have made a report to (xxx), and on the other hand, you’ve reached out to us!
Once you report sexual harassment to a supervisor, you must be taken seriously, and immediate action must be taken. The response can vary, but ideally, it should be discussed with you. For example, it might involve changing supervisors so you’re no longer exposed to the situation, along with a formal warning for the harasser from the company.
One option could be to have another conversation with your supervisor to make it clear that the company needs to take action.
If you don’t want to speak to your supervisor anymore because it feels uncomfortable, you could also reach out to the Equal Treatment Agency. They handle all forms of discrimination, and they can step in and have discussions with the company on your behalf, so you wouldn’t have to do it yourself.”
I have found that while the right laws exist in theory, in practice, perpetrator protection makes it difficult to be heard and have your rights respected. If you have multiple male supervisors, you may face harassment from more than one at the same time (I faced sexual harassment from two, above mentioned superior and my former boss). A female boss, in turn, may be unwilling to believe you, as was the case in the above mentioned situation.
When I requested a change of supervisors, she refused, questioning my trustworthiness and portraying me as a woman simply seeking attention and exaggerating—biases many women frequently encounter. Many superiors hold significant power and have the support of company leadership, making it nearly impossible for employees in lower positions to fight against these violations. This is a clear example of how theory and practice can differ, and how women still struggle to receive help when dealing with harassment from superiors.
One major issue is bosses refusing to believe women—or pretending not to—so they can avoid taking action. In my case, the situation was only resolved after I contacted multiple organizations for help and forwarded emails to various supervisors within the company, including female ones, to raise awareness. Sometimes, exposing wrongful behavior and getting people outside the company involved helps, but we live in a highly narcissistic society, and doing so can put you at risk. Be aware that those who harass you will almost always try to smear your reputation among coworkers and superiors if you bring the truth to light.
Sexual harassment is extremely common, and many perpetrators do not respect boundaries or adhere to workplace rules. The power dynamics in these situations often favor the harasser, especially if they are in a leadership position with the backing of colleagues and upper management. In some cases, the harasser may be your direct boss, making it even harder to fight back.
In my experience, standing up against this type of abuse can lead to the termination of your contract—but this may ultimately be a better outcome than remaining in a workplace where sexual harassment is widespread.
Have you ever experienced harassment?