China Elevator Stories

i said 'no', you played deaf

After posting my last post, I have been intimidated by the singer.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


The singer I have been writing about has tried to intimidate me so I would take down my last post.

I have said ‘no’ to various of his demands (one of which is that I need to be in a relationship with him) – he has ‘played deaf’. This is not the first time he crosses my boundaries. He violates them all of the time.

There has been a lot of coercion and intimidation, and trying to change me into someone I am not, including not allowing me to simply ‘be’ and to be myself.

He has also started another smear campaign against me which I have asked him to stop (he hasn’t). Whoever has been through a smear campaign by a malignant narcissist knows how bad these can get.

Because he is famous – initially, I didn’t want to get into a relationship with him. Even though I do love his music, meeting him was not on my mind ever. He used to be a long-term reader of my blog, and he later pursued me. I didn’t trust he had good intentions, and I also wasn’t too interested in having a relationship with him.

One boundary l put up with him at the very beginning was that I would end the relationship if he ever cheated on me. He cheated on me, tried to lie about it, then tried to lie about it again, and then lied about it some more.

I asked him to stop the lies and to stop the drama, and to stop his acting, because I really don’t like to engage with people who are fake and who can’t be real, nice and humble and appreciate another person.

He didn’t and I therefore ended the relationship.

I don’t enjoy being in the vicinity of someone who is trying to control me and change me into somebody I am not (usually this points to the person nagging being the issue, not the other way around). If a person acts like this, it is coming from a place of non-acceptance, and I do not appreciate having a negative and hateful person like this in my life.

After I confronted the singer with his cheating, he threw a tantrum, tried to make me unsee what I had already seen, projected onto me that l was dumb, threw another tantrum, denied it all, and then blamed it all on me.

He started to put me down, call me ugly names, and told me he would kill me because I had separated from him. This was after he had cheated on me and had excluded me from every part of his life but had asked me to allow him to be included in everything I did.

In the past, he had deleted my Facebook account and made sure I would never be able to sign up to Facebook again by hacking into it so I would be flagged as a fake account. The same thing happened when I tried to sign up to Instagram when I wanted to create an Instagram account for my blog.

Have you ever had to deal with dangerous people?

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