China Elevator Stories

I don’t celebrate mother’s day

I celebrated mother’s day growing up, but feel conflicted about this holiday as a grown-up.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


I don’t celebrate mother’s day. For one, I’m confused as to what is actually celebrated on mother’s day. The fact that a woman is not “only” a woman anymore, but now also a mother (=a woman’s deed to society)? Children honouring their mother’s hard work? Men appreciating the work their partner does in raising their offspring?

Whatever it is, it just doesn’t sound quite right to me.

#1: A woman being a mother

If we celebrate mother’s day because of #1, women becoming mothers, then I disagree with the celebrations because a woman can be much more than a mother and shouldn’t have to define herself solely by the fact that or if she is a mother.

#2: Children honouring their mother

If celebrating mother’s day means reminding children to honour their mother, then I also disagree. For one, not every mother (parent/caregiver) provides a nurturing relationship to their children. For another, if a mother works on having an honest and working relationship with her children (because that is what she wants to do, not what she’s supposed to do), then there’s no need for celebrating mother’s day because the relationship will be a mutual one. Her children will remember to call her up or visit her or nourish that relationship in other ways, and not only on one day of the year. It puts mothers into a box, and children too (“every mother has to be of the ‘mothering type’, and every child has to honour their mother, no matter the relationship”).

#3: Men appreciating a woman’s work

If this is about #3, then I think we still have to go a long way until we have reached a point where men and women are more equal in regards to raising their children and sharing household chores. A partner making coffee or breakfast for you on mother’s day and taking the kids out so you get to enjoy some alone time is a nice gesture, but hardly enough compensation for all the work a woman might put into keeping things running on most other days of the year.

I don’t celebrate mother’s day

I don’t celebrate mother’s day and my husband knows that.

As to my relationship with our son, I have a respectful relationship with him and hope to thereby nourish his being respectful of himself and others. The relationship between a mother and her child is a personal one that doesn’t need to be shown off to the world or the inner family circle.

Do you celebrate mother’s day?

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