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I don’t celebrate mother’s day
I celebrated Mother’s Day growing up, but I feel conflicted about this holiday as a grown-up.
08/05/2016
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day. For one, I’m confused about what is actually being celebrated on this day. Is it the fact that a woman is not “only” a woman anymore, but also a mother (i.e., a woman’s “deed” to society)? Is it about children honoring their mother’s hard work? Or is it men appreciating the work their partner does in raising their offspring?
Whatever it is, it just doesn’t sit right with me.
#1: A woman being a mother
If we celebrate Mother’s Day because of #1—women becoming mothers—then I disagree with the celebration. A woman can be much more than a mother and shouldn’t have to define herself solely by whether or not she is one.
#2: Children honouring their mother
If celebrating Mother’s Day means reminding children to honor their mother, then I also disagree. For one, not every mother (or parent/caregiver) provides a nurturing relationship with their children. Secondly, if a mother works on having an honest and meaningful relationship with her children (because that’s what she wants to do, not because she’s supposed to), then there’s no need for a designated day to celebrate it. The relationship will be mutual. Her children will remember to call her, visit her, or nourish that relationship in other ways—not just on one day of the year. It puts mothers into a box, and children too (“every mother must be of the ‘mothering type,’ and every child must honor their mother, no matter the relationship”).
#3: Men appreciating a woman’s work
If this is about #3—men appreciating a woman’s work—then I think we still have a long way to go before we achieve true equality in sharing the responsibilities of raising children and household chores. A partner making coffee or breakfast for you on Mother’s Day and taking the kids out so you get some alone time is a nice gesture, but hardly enough compensation for all the work a woman might put into keeping things running on most other days of the year.
I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day
I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day, and my husband knows that.
As for my relationship with our son, I strive to maintain a respectful relationship with him, hoping to foster his own sense of respect for himself and others. The relationship between a mother and her child is a personal one that doesn’t need to be shown off to the world or even to the inner family circle.
Do you celebrate Mother’s Day?