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having a mother is not detrimental to kids, but having a father who abuses them is

Courts in Austria frequently give children to their fathers and don’t let women have access to or partake in parenting their own children.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


The last decision by the court was very offensive.

Not only am I not allowed custody of my children by not receiving sole custody, I am also being punished for my ex-husband’s alienation of our children from me by not being allowed to have my children in Austria with me over the summer holidays because of his cutting contact between me and my children.

We are still having joint custody, which equals him having sole custody.

When I could finally reestablish contact with my ex-husband in 2022, I started to send him short videos for our children. But when I asked him to show them the videos, he declined and said he would not show them anything I send.

In my opinion, the court’s decision shows signs of parental alienation by proxy, where the alienation is intensified by the court’s decision of not allowing appropriate steps to be taken that could counteract my ex-husband’s alienation of our children from me.

Children are frequently taken from their mothers by the courts. In the eyes of Vienna Child and Youth Welfare Service and the court – having a mother is something that could actually be detrimental to kids!

Now that may be the case if the mother is abusive, which I am not, but in these instances, the abusive parent is often the father. A lot of the cases where fathers are allowed to parent their children, while the mother is not, involve extreme examples of domestic violence against the children.

My children are not allowed to see me other than through video calls twice a week, and they are not allowed to spend their summer holidays in Austria with me.

Have you ever lost your children?

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