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China Elevator Stories
“After We’re Married, I Still Want To See Her As My Girlfriend”
A couple in Qujing shares their view on marriage.
15/03/2014
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
In September 2013, I accompany a friend from Kunming to Qujing, a city two hours away. In the evening, we meet up with friends at a bar. Among them is a young couple, and the woman is two months pregnant. They seem very much in love.
I ask them how they met.
He says, “I was in 9th grade, and she was in 12th grade. The first time I saw her, I knew she was special. I fell in love with her right away.”
She adds, “I was hesitant. After all, I was three years older than him—he was 15, and I was 18, and we were both still in school.”
He continues, “I chased her for two years. Then we got together. We’ve been together for six years now. We’re getting married next month. After we’re married, I still want to see her as my girlfriend rather than my wife. Your whole attitude changes when you see someone as your wife and not as your girlfriend. Her attitude might change too. I’d still like to treat her as someone special to me, like you’d treat a girlfriend.”
Do you agree that you’d treat a girlfriend differently from a wife?
This is part of the series ‘Conversations with Locals in China,’ where I share conversations with Chinese people on my blog.