articles
493. “If You Take a Boat, You Can Step Onto the Shore in North Korea”
I chat with a cab driver in Dandong, Liaoning Province, at the Chinese–North Korean border.
492. Recognizing Narcissistic Jealousy in Parents and Grandparents
A narcissistic parent or grandparent may be so jealous of you that they will destroy your relationship with your children.
491. What Does It Look Like When a Narcissistic Parent Constantly Works Against You?
The smallest of decisions may be undermined by a narcissistic co-parent.
490. When Laughter Surprised My Austrian-Chinese Son
Being around people who laughed was unfamiliar to my son.
489. The Story Behind My Blog: How It All Started
The idea for my blog came to me after some unforgettable conversations with strangers in a new city.
488. “How Can a Person Do Such a Thing?”
I chat with a cab driver in Tai’an City (Shandong Province).
487. "In China, Food Prices Have Mostly Stayed the Same"
I chat with a cab driver in Siping (Jilin Province).
486. Where do our opinions come from?
Opinions generally fall into two categories: those shaped by personal experience and those acquired from external sources.
485. When Narcissists Study Tools Like Hypnosis
Narcissists are manipulative, which can lead them to study methods of influencing others, such as hypnosis.
484. What is Erotomania and Why is it such a huge Problem?
Erotomania is a problem for women who are frequently harassed by men who suffer from it.
483. The Different Stages of Becoming a Scapegoat
Being made the scapegoat within a system follows a particular process.
482. Legitimate vs. Unnecessary Blame
How does legitimate blame differ from unnecessary blame?
481. When You're Being Forced to Communicate Against Your Will
One common way a stalker harasses their victim is by forcing communication.
480. When the Desire to Be Left Alone Is Called Stonewalling
I describe how a stalker starts to guilt-trip a person when she asks to be left alone.
479. R.I.P. Privacy
We are living in a time when our rights to privacy are increasingly being violated.
478. “Grown-up Narcissists” vs. “Baby Narcissists”
I have found that there are two distinct kinds of narcissists.
477. Fake Relationships, Narcissism, and Erotomania
Paying attention to the signs of a fake relationship will help you determine if you are in one.
476. When a Narcissistic Parent Uses Racism to Alienate Mixed Children
My children’s connection to my culture and language has been severely undermined by their narcissistic Chinese father’s actions.
475. Intimacy-Seeking Stalkers: When You Aren’t Allowed Privacy
Intimacy-seeking stalkers all follow similar patterns when stalking their victims.
474. Why, as a Truth Teller, I Have Been Punished Horrifically for Speaking the Truth in Austria
There are many other areas of intelligence beyond those tested in standard IQ tests.
473. The Many Faces of Intelligence: Energy Sensitivity, Visual Skills, and Beyond
There are many other areas of intelligence beyond those tested in standard IQ tests.
472. Self-Optimization Craze
Many people follow online self-optimization gurus.
471. Empaths, Narcissists, and the Toxic Pull of the Crowd: Why I Protect My Space
Boundaries are important to make space for more of the good, and less of the bad.
470. When Blonde Changes to Brown
We take it for granted that people know how hair colors change, but this is not common knowledge in some cultures.
469. Having Your Identity and Life Stolen by a Narcissist
Some of the most horrific experiences any person can go through are having their identity and life taken over by someone else.
468. “Where Do You Live?”
I recently took my children swimming at a pond in Siping.
467. How I Prepared for My Move Within China
I recently moved from Shandong Province to Jilin Province.
466. Parental Alienation: What It Is and What It Can Look Like
Parental alienation is widespread in China.
465. "Eight Hours."
Children aren’t always kept sufficiently safe by Chinese parents or grandparents.
464. "He Sometimes Also Hits Us"
My son tells me about how his grandfather treats him and his brother.
463. "Are you Uighur?"
I chat with a pharmacist in Siping.
462. Hello From Siping (Jilin Province)!
I moved back to Siping a few days ago.
461. My Time in Tai’an Is Coming to an End
My four-month contract at a university in Tai’an is coming to an end.
460. When dumb people think they are Intelligent
There are many people who aren’t actually very intelligent, but believe they are.
459. The Difference Between Having a Legitimate Opinion and Being Overly Opinionated
I examine how opinions are shared and the dynamics of opinion suppression in Europe.
458. Betrayal Is a Part of Any Relationship With a Narcissist
If you are in a long-term relationship with a malignant narcissist, you will almost inevitably experience betrayal at some point.
457. When It Gets to That Point, It’s Already Too Late
Learning from history is necessary to not repeat the past.
456. When Will I Decline Communication?
There are certain situations where declining communication is completely legitimate.
455. The Only Thing Anyone Would Ever Want From a Narcissist
What narcissists do to other people is so horrific, it can’t consciously be forgiven.
454. Qingdao Metro (Video)
I visited Qingdao in May this year.
453. How to Spot a Voyeur
Some narcissists are voyeuristic, which is why it’s helpful to know what to look for.
452. When Your Life and Relationships Aren’t Yours Anymore
One of the greatest dangers with certain people is that they may steal your identity.
451. Do Narcissists Research Narcissism?
When a person enters your life telling you they’ve researched narcissism, be careful. They might be a narcissist.
450. Metacognition: Thinking Critically About the Way You Think
The ability to reflect on our own thoughts is called metacognition.
449. Unconscious, Disrespectful, and Dumb—but Thinks He's the Exact Opposite
When you’re dealing with a narcissist, everything gets turned around.
448. The Crazy Things They Do and Still Think They’re Right
Malignant narcissists are always dangerous, but some truly are worse than others.
447. The Masters of Chaos
The masters of chaos are people who create chaos in other people’s lives.
446. How to Travel Cheaply and Comfortably on China’s Fast Trains
Chinese bullet trains come with many conveniences.
445. After Almost Six Years: Seeing My Children Again in Siping
I took a fast train in early June to see my children again after almost six years of separation.
444. Stalking and Boundaries
Stalkers tend to violate another person’s boundaries horrifically.
443. When an Adult Man Refuses to Grow Up
Some men attempt to force women into the role of a mother in relation to them.
442. Fascism Doesn’t Always Wear a Uniform
According to the US Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, there are 14 early warning signs of fascism.
441. When You Have the Status of a Slave
When someone sees themselves as superior, they may treat you like a “slave,” assigning you no worth of your own.
440. How to Spot Erotomania
Erotomania is a mental disorder where a person projects onto you that you are in love with them.
439. When You’re Considered to Be a Person Who Has No Rights
Certain narcissists enjoy treating people as though there was a true caste system in place.
438. When You're Being Forced To Overspend
Narcissists may force you to overspend by pretending you need to spend money to be considered a worthwhile human being.
437. Scapegoats: The Unfair Targets of Others’ Wrongdoing
There’s hardly anything worse than being made the scapegoat.
436. Speaking Up Shouldn’t Cost Us Everything
Over the past few years, I’ve dealt with more attacks on my credibility than I can count.
435. "My Ex-husband Also Had Affairs"
I chat with the owner of a hostel in Qingdao.
434. When Someone Takes Up Too Much Space
When a person takes up so much space that others can’t, they’re not being considerate of other people.
433. When Your Goals Are Sabotaged by Narcissists
Sabotage is sometimes obvious, but often it’s hidden.
432. Spyware: The Hidden Threat in Your Phone
Spyware can be used to stalk and surveil you, and it has been found to be used on a massive scale.
431. Abuse of Power
Abuse of power is when power is abused in a way where it is to the detriment of another person.
430. The One Kind of Person You Don't Want to Encounter at Night
Machiavellians are the most dangerous kind of people you can encounter.
429. Understanding and Recognizing Emotional Incest
Emotional incest is most commonly known as a form of abuse that happens in parent-child relationships.
428. From Lhasa to Hogwarts: Growing Up With Books
I have always been a lover of the written word.
427. When A Person Thinks They are God-like
Narcissists sometimes develop a God complex, thinking they are infallible.
426. The Four Tendencies: Rebels and Questioners
Each of us are born with one main tendency: either Rebel, Questioner, Upholder or Obliger.
425. What is Reverse Racism?
Reverse racism refers to discrimination against individuals—often White people—based on their race.
424. Narcissistic Triangulation: When Two Becomes Three
Every narcissist triangulates, and it can feel rather uncomfortable when they do.
423. When Abusers Deny the Abuse and Silence Their Victims
When you speak up about having experienced abuse, the perpetrator will often deny what happened and try to silence you.
422. The Stages of Bullying
Bullying often unfolds in distinct stages.
421. Caught in the Grip: The Experience of Being Engulfed
Engulfment is a common tactic used by narcissists to trap their victims.
420. Bossing: When Control Is Imposed Without Consent
Bossing is a form of bullying in the context of a power dynamic where one person has or imposes power over another.
419. China's Newer Metro Systems Are Very Effective
Taking the metro in China’s megacities is a convenient way to get around.
418. To a Real Narcissist (and Racist), Nothing Is Ever Good Enough
To a true narcissist — especially one with racist views — nothing is ever good enough.
417. Is it the Right Direction?
Direction matters.
416. The Limits of Tolerance
Just as with anything, there are limits to what we are able to tolerate.
415. Not a Match
When dating, the first step is to find a suitable match—not someone who is completely incompatible.
414. Gaslighting: When Carrots Are Called Potatoes (and You’re Supposed to Agree)
Gaslighting is what abusers use to make you doubt your reality.
413. Why Are You Constantly Talking About Your Father?
I am not a fan of triangulation, and I have asked you to stop.
412. When Someone Claims They're An Empath, But They Are Not
Some people use manipulation to pretend they have a skill they don’t actually have.
411. From Rights to Ruin: The Narcissist’s World Order
Narcissists have a long history of destroying other people’s lives.
410. Control, Control, and ... Even More Control
Some narcissists are rather unrelaxed human beings who … stress other people out all the time.
409. Yes, Other People Are Allowed to Have Boundaries
Go, figure!
408. Spam Comments
These are some recent spam comments I’ve received.
407. Dangerous and Non-dangerous Racism
When it comes to racism, there is a significant difference between harmful and non-harmful forms.
406. No, I Wouldn't
(Or: You don’t get to choose that.)
405. Is It a Need or a Want?
A need means something is necessary for survival; a want means it is not.
404. Let Me Repeat My Boundary
Let me say it again: I am interested in neither you nor your daddy.
403. The Dangers of Incel Groups: When a Person Changes Beyond Recognition
Someone I once knew completely changed after becoming involved in incel forums.
402. When the Narrative Is Stolen from the Victim
A victim who tells her story truthfully is powerful, but often, others steal her story and share it inaccurately.
401. Groups and Rules
Typically, groups have spoken or unspoken rules that must be followed if you want to remain a part of them.