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China Elevator Stories
The Character “sēn” (森)
The character “sēn” (森) means ‘forest’. It is commonly used in the Chinese word “sēnlín” (森林).
15/07/2024
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
To some, having a relationship with one of Germany’s most famous singers may sound like a dream come true. In reality, it is more like a nightmare.
He has been trying to hoover me back into a relationship recently. He has done so in the past by writing songs for me and publishing lyrics through other singers without appearing as the writer. This worked in the beginning only because he is good at what he does. Initially, I didn’t know this, but I identified a few songs because of hidden hints he had included that gave away that these were his lyrics.
What is a hoover? A hoover is a manipulation tactic where most commonly, the other person does something that shows that they love you when in reality, they don’t really love you. It is a method that can be used by abusers to manipulate their victims so that they’ll get back into an abusive relationship.
In the beginning of an abusive relationship, abusive episodes are usually not as frequent, and the abuser treats you well more often.
Once the abuse starts, you enter a downward spiral. Eventually, hoovering becomes rare, and when it does occur, it’s probably not what you asked for or what you need in your life.
Recently, Joris hoovered me by having someone paint a Chinese character on a street sign near where I live. This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, and it makes me feel uneasy.
I know it’s him because his name has appeared wherever I have lived in Vienna. Initially, I thought it was a coincidence until I noticed that after moving to a new place, his name suddenly appeared on a construction site wall in my neighborhood, even though I lived in a non-central area.
The Chinese character that appeared is “sēn” (森), meaning “forest.” It consists of the radical “wood” (木 mù) and the radical 林, which is another word for “forest.” 林 (lín) sounds like the second character in both my sons’ first names, which is written 霖 and also pronounced “lín.” It can also be read as 霖的母亲 (lín de mǔqīn, “the mother of Lin”). In English and German, “sen” is the first syllable of the word “sensitive,” such as in HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). The singer I used to date likes to use word games.
When I think about what I want in a partner, several things are important: he must be a good person, know how to behave well, be respectful, and intelligent. We need to share similar worldviews and have compatible likes and dislikes.
Mutual physical attraction is also somewhat important. I don’t usually look for a man I am not attracted to, which I believe is common for women and men alike! I like his appearance, but not when he is raging or intimidating.
He can be very funny and has a great sense of humor. I enjoy humor in a partner, even though it’s not the main trait I seek.
He can read and understand Chinese. He has taught himself to do so. I have had to translate thousands of Chinese messages into German and before I did so, he helped me choose the ones he thought would be most helpful for my court cases.
Because he has a photographic memory and an IQ of 170, it has been easy for him to memorize Chinese characters. He is also an analytic thinker and since I am more intuitive, this has been very helpful.
Despite his help, people are not predictable, so even though I have had his help during a few trying times, I did not know if the evidence he chose would be helpful. It has been helpful in winning my divorce case, but it hasn’t been helpful in winning the custody trial. I have shared in an older post that I did not receive sole custody of my children.
I have had his help during a few trying times, but during a few other trying times, he betrayed me and was nowhere to find. Most commonly, he also abuses and bullies me horrifically, and to be honest, I just want his abuse to end. I have always been looking for a stable, reliable partner, and he hasn’t been that. I have experienced so much betrayal in my life that this kind of behavior has become unacceptable to me.
There is always a downside to asking others for help. When a person offers you their help, they may then use this to guilt-trip you in the future to receive something they want from you. This is especially the case if you have been in an abusive relationship and if you have been in a situation where you were dependent on the help of another person.
My relationship with him has been on-and-off, which is another dealbreaker.
His recent hoovering attempt is not only hoovering, but also stalking. When I compare two very extreme stalkers I have had in my life – the singer and my ex-husband – the singer will certainly win the prize for the more extreme stalker, even though my ex-husband has been horrific as well.
The singer is still trying to get me back into a relationship. This is annoying because not much is coming back in terms of what I need in a relationship: space, the freedom to be myself, no abuse, respect, normal communication, and no affairs.
Have you ever had to deal with a stalker?