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China Elevator Stories
cultural alienation
I have experienced racism in my relationship with my ex-husband and former in-laws.
12/04/2024
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I have experienced a lot of racism from my former Chinese ex-husband and my former in-laws. Even though most Chinese would never admit it, China certainly has a problem with racism.
In the case of my former in-laws, this manifested in them portraying me as a weird, insane person who had seemingly crazy habits, such as celebrating Christmas and birthdays according to Austrian tradition.
The festivities that were culturally Austrian were soon replaced by my former mother-in-law with Chinese traditions or habits, or at least censored in a way that prevented me from celebrating them with my children the way I would celebrate them in Austria.
By now, my children have been through years of what is called “sinicization” by their Chinese parent and grandparents. They have been brainwashed to completely reject their Austrian mother, their Austrian roots, and their German mother tongue.
“Sinicization,” in the case of mixed children who are partly Chinese, is the process of turning these children into “fully Chinese children.”
This means they are cut off from their non-Chinese parent’s culture, language, and relatives, prohibited from visiting that country, and denied the opportunity to have a mixed identity. They are treated as though they are ‘100% Chinese,’ not in the sense of being included in Chinese society, but in the sense of having to deny their other culture.
It is pretending that no part of them is Austrian, that they are not Austrian-Chinese, but only Chinese. It is a process quite like parental alienation – we could call it cultural alienation: The process of alienating them from their other culture.
They are not allowed to speak or learn German. They have been completely disconnected from their Austrian roots and their second mother tongue, German, which they used to speak fluently.
Racist behavior from my former mother-in-law showed in the ways she treated me and spoke about me. She outright bullied me for not being and acting like a Chinese person and also used to bully me because I have Austrian (non-Chinese) looks.
One incident where her racist behavior was evident occurred when, one day, she forbade me to bake muffins for my ex-husband on his birthday, back when we were still married. She also forbade me from giving him a birthday present.
Instead, that one very morning a few years ago in Siping, she forced her way into our flat, punished me by giving me the silent treatment, and forced me to take a boiled egg with me to work in Changchun.
Like so often before, my former husband took his mother’s side, and celebrating his birthday in any way other than eating eggs became a thing of the past.
Have you ever had to deal with racism?