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China Elevator Stories
“You Should Have A Baby Boy”
A Chinese co-worker in Shenzhen wishes me a boy.
13/05/2014
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
In February 2014, one of my former co-workers, who had just had a baby girl, stops me in my tracks: “Let me see your belly.”
After looking at it, she concludes: “It’s really big. You’re wearing quite sexy clothes. You should wear more layers.”
She says this on a sunny day with 21°C, which reminds me of spring, while I am wearing cotton tights, warm winter boots, an undershirt, a dress, and a long-sleeved cotton shirt (and this is only what I’m wearing indoors). The same day, a few of the other female co-workers have remarked on how small my belly still is.
After telling her that I’m already sweating, she goes on: “You should have a baby boy. Boys do look more like their mothers than their fathers, and since your husband isn’t that handsome…”
I tell her: “I’ve heard that before—that supposedly boys look more like their mothers, while girls look more like their fathers. We’re 8 brothers and sisters, and I can’t say that I see evidence of that belief in our looks.”
“Well, it holds true with Chinese genetics. Anyways, if you have a boy, he will also be insurance for you.”
Have you ever heard anything like this?
Explanation:
Traditionally, in Chinese families, boys are expected to support their parents in old age, while girls marry out of their original family and become part of their husband’s family once married. Nowadays, the belief that only boys can support their parents in old age is still quite common in many rural areas, and although this view is becoming rarer in larger cities, many parents (and grandparents) still wish for a “male heir.” This, along with the one-child policy and the fact that many abortions in China are gender-specific, is why it is illegal for Chinese doctors to determine a child’s sex before birth. It’s not legally allowed—but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. According to my former co-worker, who did determine the baby’s sex before giving birth, it cost them 2000 Yuan (about 241 EUR or 330 USD) to find a doctor willing to determine their baby’s sex here in Shenzhen.
This is part of the series ‘Conversations with Locals in China,’ where I share conversations with Chinese people on my blog.