articles
China Elevator Stories
“You should find a new Chinese husband!”
I chat with a cab driver in Jinan, the capital of Shandong Province.
17/04/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
It’s March, 2025. I’ve just arrived in Jinan in Shandong Province, after taking a flight from Austria, and I chat with the cab driver.
The driver asks me, “Are you married?”
I answer, “I used to be married to a Chinese man, but we’re divorced now.”
He inquires, “I see. Where in China is he from?”
“He’s from Northeast China.”
“Do you have children?”
“I do, but he doesn’t allow me to see them.”
I ask, “Do you have children?”
“I do.”
“Are you married?”
“Yes, I am.”
“That’s great—you both have access to your children.”
“Yes, we do. Why doesn’t your ex-husband let you see your children?”
“There’s no real reason. He simply doesn’t want me to see our children.”
“I believe he must have tricked you into marrying him! He’s a liumang (流氓), a hooligan! A man who does such a thing is a liumang—normal men wouldn’t do this.”
He then goes on: “You should find a new Chinese husband!”
I reply, “You know, once you’ve been tricked by another person like I have, you won’t ever want to get married again.”
He insists, “No, you should get another Chinese husband! A better one than the last one.”
“I don’t know. I am really not able to trust Chinese men after this experience. I am actually quite happy being single.”
He keeps insisting, “I disagree. It would certainly be better for you to get married to another Chinese guy. You have to marry a guy who is a better man than your ex-husband.”
Have you ever been told you should get married again?
This is part of the series ‘Conversations with Locals in China,’ where I share conversations with Chinese people on my blog.