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China Elevator Stories
"They Won’t Do Anything You Ask"
I chat with the man who works at the local post office.
21/04/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
A week after I go there for the first time, I find out that he has gathered a lot of information about me behind my back. He has also researched how foreign teachers live in Tai’an—where exactly they live, what the university provides, our salaries, and other private details.
When I go to mail a letter one day in April 2025, he starts asking about my personal situation with my children. I tell him about it.
Then he tells me how people from other parts of China view those from Northeast China. He says, “Men from Northeast China are known to be hard to talk to. You can’t get them to compromise or do anything. If you try to make them do something, they’ll simply resist. They won’t do anything you ask. They don’t cooperate.”
I reply, “I didn’t know this was considered a Northeastern Chinese trait. That’s exactly how my ex-husband behaves.”
He continues, “Yes, it is. They’re also aggressive and have a bad temper.”
“Yes, I noticed that with my ex-husband. He always had a bad temper.”
“How did you end up marrying him then?”
“He hid it at first. I didn’t know he was like that.”
“I think you should date a Chinese guy and marry again. What’s your age?”
“I’m 37. Are single men my age usually divorced?”
“Yes, most are divorced. Some have kids; others don’t. These two types of divorced men are very different. When it comes to divorce, Chinese men aren’t always to blame. Sometimes it’s the woman who caused the divorce, and the man didn’t do anything wrong. You could find someone who wasn’t at fault. You could ask the other teachers at your university to introduce a Chinese man to you and get married. Northeastern Chinese women often choose men from southern China—those are said to have better tempers than Northeastern men. But Northeastern Chinese women are also said to be a bit different from women in other regions. Sometimes they even hit random strangers.”
Have you ever heard about this?
This is part of the series ‘Conversations with Locals in China,’ where I share conversations with Chinese people on my blog.