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China Elevator Stories
“Who Takes Care Of The Kids?”
I talk with a Chinese co-worker about child rearing.
16/11/2013
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I have lunch with my new co-worker, a woman in her mid-to-late 30s who has a 2-year-old son. She asks me: “Who takes care of young kids in Austria? In China, it’s often the grandparents who look after the kids. But what is it like in Austria, with young people working?”
I tell her: “Most parents look after their kids themselves when the kids are still little. The grandparents will help out on weekends or days when they have time. In Austria, women get paid maternity leave, so they don’t have to go back to work immediately. I’ve seen that mothers in China sometimes go back to work as soon as three months after their baby is born.”
She says: “Yes, three months is the minimum. I’ve stayed with my little one for quite a long time compared to that. I took care of him for 2 years and 3 months, just before I started working here.”
She then asks me: “Where is your husband from?”
“He’s from Jilin province.”
“Do you live here just with your husband, or do your in-laws live with you?”
“It’s just me and my husband.”
She replies: “I see. In China, we have a tradition going back thousands of years—the tradition of living with one’s family. I live with my parents and in-laws.”
I tell her: “Historically, this used to be the tradition in Austria as well, but things are different nowadays. We don’t live in one house with our parents and grandparents, but oftentimes, we still live close to each other, like in the same city.”
“I understand. So it’s not even that different from China, then. My parents live in Shenzhen, but they have their own apartment. My mother-in-law lives with us. Many young Chinese like living on their own too, but I like it this way.”
Have you ever lived with your in-laws?