China Elevator Stories

when the perpetrator acts as though he is the victim

I have often encountered that a perpetrator will deny all guilt and then acts as though he is the victim of the real victim.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


Another thing the singer has started to do is to ‘play the victim’.

What can you expect if you have to deal with this person? You can expect lots of drama all day long, every day, overcomplicating everything, no silence ever, and him trying to intimidate and control you.

This may be followed by a pity party where he wants to have all the attention when you have more important things to do. There can be really low blows, such as: ‘Look at me, look at me, look at me’, followed by ‘poor me, you are treating me badly, you are not being nice to me, you have to talk to me, you have to spend time with me, you have to listen to me while I talk constantly’ (thanks for the guilt tripping and no, I don’t).

He will tell you that – ‘You are not allowed to do this and you are not allowed to do that, and you are not allowed to do anything’ – until you end up not being allowed to do anything, and when you do, you’ll be blamed for not doing it right.

When he started another of his tantrums, I asked him to stop, which he didn’t.

It is not a very enjoyable pastime for real victims to see perpetrators play the victim, and neither is having to post something anytime someone violates your boundaries – but if it stops the behavior, it will be worth it.

Have you ever been targeted by a narcissist?

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