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China Elevator Stories
Stop Talking to Me About Your Ex-Girlfriend, Nura
In my eyes, your behavior shows you have no self-esteem.
14/08/2024
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
Dear Joris, if you have a conversation (or let’s call it a monologue) with me, please ask for my consent first. I have repeatedly told you that I am not okay with you talking about your ex-girlfriends with me as though you were still in love with them.
You are constantly talking about how sexy, pretty, amazing and successful they are. At the same time, you tell me how wrong and flawed you think I am. Who cares? Is this really important?
You then tell me that I need to marry you as though we were having a workable relationship. You didn’t take the relationship serious enough, you didn’t change what needed changing for it to work, and you completely ignored my needs, my feelings and me. Oh, and by the way, I have not received an engagement ring! Why would I believe you when your actions don’t match your words? I also hate the word marriage!!!!!!!!!! Don’t ever mention it again.
Why would I want to hear about your ex-girlfriends or want to watch their videos? I don’t. I am not interested.
When a man who claims to want a relationship with me constantly talks about his ex-girlfriends, it shows, in my opinion, a lack of regard for my feelings. It suggests you don’t care about me, you don’t love me, and that you are trying to make me jealous. I’m not okay with this kind of behavior. To me, it reflects that you have low self-esteem, and I see it as an attempt to undermine my self-worth. When someone feels the need to do that to another person, it’s not healthy.
Do I really need to repeat myself? Do I need to say again that I don’t want to marry you? If you had wanted a relationship with me, you should have acted differently. It seems you were still dating Nura when you started seeing me, which is unacceptable if you wanted a serious relationship with me.
I have set clear boundaries, and if you think they don’t matter, that’s your problem. These boundaries are important to me, and because you didn’t respect them, our relationship ended. It naturally ends when you show that you don’t respect the values that are normal and should be adhered to by anyone who wants to be in a committed relationship.
Do I really need to listen to you comparing me to your ex-girlfriends or other women constantly? No, I don’t.
For the record, we are not in a relationship, and I don’t want to be. I would rather stay single than spend time with someone whose behavior, quite frankly, is as disgusting as yours.
Has a man ever harassed you by constantly talking about his ex-girlfriends?