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China Elevator Stories
Scapegoats: The Unfair Targets of Others’ Wrongdoing
There’s hardly anything worse than being made the scapegoat.
03/06/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I didn’t have a goat at home, so I took a picture of a toy fox and a toy red panda instead.
The origin of the term scapegoat can be found in Judaism. Wikipedia explains the original story behind the term as follows:
The scapegoat was a goat that was driven off into the wilderness as part of the ceremonies of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, in Judaism during the times of the Temple in Jerusalem. The rite is described in Leviticus 16.
Since this goat, carrying the sins of the people placed on it, is sent away to perish, the word “scapegoat” has come to mean a person, often innocent, who is blamed and punished for the sins, crimes, or sufferings of others, generally as a way of distracting attention from the real causes.
I used to be a normal member of Austrian society—I was accepted, included, and I fit in. But over the past few years, everything has changed. While I once made friends easily and had many social connections, lately things have really taken a turn for the worse.
I could identify two main reasons:
- My success as a writer
- My personal situation of having my children stolen from me by my ex-husband
Dr. Raphael Bonelli, a psychotherapist and psychiatrist, has observed the same pattern: people who were once included in Austrian society have been excluded in recent years. He noted that, in the past, people could go to a café and share differing opinions while still remaining friends. But after COVID-19, that changed. Certain opinions became socially unacceptable, and those who voiced them were shunned, excluded, and no longer invited to gatherings.
This is exactly my experience. Some people become scapegoats more than others, particularly truth-tellers—those who speak up about the truth, expose these very dynamics, and say things as they are. Many live in painful denial and try to prevent others from voicing critical opinions, even when those opinions are moderate rather than extreme.
People like me are attacked—and the attacks are severe. I am a truth-teller, not by choice but because it’s simply an inborn trait. I am also a scapegoat. Having been made the scapegoat so many times, I wonder if there’s something in my genes that makes others sense I am an easy target for scapegoating and treat me accordingly.
Louder, less well-behaved, extroverted, or narcissistic individuals often make me the scapegoat simply because I am none of those things. I am an introvert. Although I sometimes speak a lot, I generally prefer silence—though my environment rarely allows me that peace.
I also believe I am made the scapegoat because I am a woman. If you are a woman who has been scapegoated, I would love to hear your story.
On the powerofpositivity.com, scapegoating (the act of making someone the scapegoat) is explained as follows:
“Scapegoating is a complex psychological phenomenon where one person or group projects their shortcomings, mistakes, or negative emotions onto another individual. This concept, deeply rooted in historical and psychological contexts, often results in the ‘scapegoat’ bearing the brunt of blame and criticism. But don’t let that fool you—that blame is not rightfully theirs.”
So, if you’re a narcissist who has treated others abysmally and abused them, you don’t get to claim the role of the scapegoat. But a true scapegoat does—even when they have done things in a situation they normally wouldn’t, just to escape abuse.
According to the powerofpositivity.com, signs that someone is being made the scapegoat include the following:
1 – The Scapegoater Always Blames You, Regardless of the Reality
It’s a challenging experience when you find yourself being the go-to person for blame, regardless of whether the fault was yours. This pattern often emerges without warning. (…)
2 – Someone Always Tears Down Your Achievements and Undermines Your Success
Achieving a goal or significant contribution brings a frequent sense of accomplishment. However, if someone consistently overlooks or belittles you, it could be a form of scapegoating.
It can manifest subtly, like a lack of acknowledgment. But it can also happen more overtly through diminishing your efforts. (…)
3 – Scapegoating Makes You Feel Isolated or Excluded from a Group
Isolation or exclusion, especially in environments where you previously felt included, can significantly indicate scapegoating. This setting can create a sense of loneliness. But even worse, it can impact your self-esteem and mental health.
Often, this isolation is not a direct action but a consequence of the negative perception spread by the scapegoater. (…)
4 – Scapegoating Subjects You to Unfair Criticism
Unfair criticism is a common sign of scapegoating, especially when it’s out of proportion to the situation or for actions that others are easily excused for.
Of course, that can demoralize you—which is exactly what the scapegoater intends. You may have a sense of walking on eggshells, constantly worried about making mistakes. (…)
5 – The Scapegoater Will Often Dismiss Your Opinions and Thoughts as Foolishness
When your opinions or ideas are consistently dismissed or belittled as “foolish,” it’s a clear sign you are a scapegoat. This form of scapegoating often occurs in the workplace when colleagues feel threatened by a rising star.
This dismissal of your contributions can make you question your thoughts. Besides that, it may stifle your willingness to share or participate. As a result, it can hinder your growth—especially harmful to your career aspirations. (…)
6 – You’re the Target of Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Passive-aggressive behavior, like backhanded compliments, can indicate scapegoating. So can subtle jabs or non-verbal microaggressions like eye-rolling or sighing.
These behaviors can be confusing and hurtful. That’s because the scapegoater intentionally wraps the insult in a veneer of politeness or humor. (…)
7 – You Experience Unjustified Hostility
Experiencing unexplained hostility or anger from others, particularly if this is a new development or seems disproportionate, can indicate that you’re being scapegoated.
This hostility can present itself in a variety of forms—from verbal attacks to more subtle aggression. These are not okay, and it’s time to stand your ground. (…)
8 – Scapegoating Holds the Scapegoat to Different Standards
Do you find that the expectations and standards applied to you are consistently higher or more demanding than for others? If so, this unfairly raised bar could be a form of scapegoating. It often leads to a feeling of being set up to fail or being unfairly judged. (…)
9 – Your Role or Contributions Change Frequently
If your role or responsibilities shift often—and put you in a position where failure is more likely—you could be a scapegoat. Similarly, scapegoating includes minimizing, editing, or downplaying your contributions.
This instability can be disorienting. It can also undermine your confidence and performance within the family or workplace. (…)
10 – You Feel Constantly Anxious or Stressed in Specific Environments
Persistent feelings of anxiety or stress, especially in particular environments or around certain individuals, without another clear cause, can be a sign of scapegoating. (…)
Usually, a scapegoat does not choose to be in that role. An abuser forces another person into the role of the scapegoat and refuses to let them leave it, because it is far too convenient to have someone else to blame. When others adopt the abuser’s lies about the scapegoat, they begin to believe that someone who was once a normal, innocent person is guilty of terrible things.
As a result, others may treat the scapegoat cruelly and without conscience. They may portray them as someone unworthy of respect—someone who doesn’t deserve to be treated with dignity, presumed innocent, or given fairness. Instead, the scapegoat is relentlessly pushed into a role that could hardly be worse.
Being the scapegoat is one of the most painful and unjust roles a person can be forced into. A scapegoat isn’t just blamed once or twice—they’re consistently held responsible for everything and anything.
Have you ever been made the scapegoat?