articles
China Elevator Stories
What is Reverse Racism?
Reverse racism refers to discrimination against individuals—often White people—based on their race.
24/05/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I have quite often heard (from people who probably didn’t want it to exist) that reverse racism doesn’t exist. But just like any other form of racism, if it is discrimination based on race, then it exists. I have also experienced it from my ex-husband when we were still married. He constantly claimed I wasn’t good enough because I was not a Chinese woman, and that I did everything wrong—also because I wasn’t Chinese. In his words, our marriage fell apart because I didn’t behave like a Chinese woman. Chinese women were always referred to as better—better looking, better behaved, more submissive—unlike me, who repeatedly asked him to respect my rights as a woman, as an equal, not someone inferior to him.
The issues I had with his parents were, in his opinion, because I wasn’t subservient like a Chinese woman and didn’t cater to their needs the way he believed I should have. He often gaslit me into believing he had treated me really well—though in reality, he had often treated me horrifically. He even told me I should be glad I didn’t have to wash his parents’ feet to show my subservience and submission to them. In his words, that would have been expected from a Chinese woman—and something he believed a Chinese woman would have done. (Yikes! I mean, thank god my former Chinese mother-in-law doesn’t have Lotus Feet. But still, I’m definitely too much in a “crab apple” state—if we’re referring to Bach flower remedies—to not be completely disgusted by other people’s bare feet or the idea of having to wash them, unless we’re talking about my own children, of course. I have no problem caring for small children when they genuinely need help.)
I asked ChatGPT to give an overview of the signs of reverse racism. I don’t know when the anti–reverse-racism movement started, but it may very well have been fueled by narcissists—people who often deny the existence of things like parental alienation or reverse racism. They usually justify this denial with bizarre reasoning, such as not having experienced it themselves, or dismissing the person who observed the pattern as “not credible,” “evil,” or say it is “pseudo-science,” as if that somehow invalidates the observation. This kind of thinking is a step backward, like being pushed back into the Middle Ages. Because if these things do exist, but you’re not allowed to acknowledge or prove them, how are you ever supposed to get your children back—or even see them again?
This is the list ChatGPT gave me:
Here’s a concise bullet list of possible signs of racial bias or “reverse racism” targeted at white people, particularly in interpersonal or dating dynamics. These reflect individual prejudice, not systemic racism, but may still be emotionally harmful or discriminatory:
Comparing white individuals unfavorably to people of other races in a racialized way (e.g., “You’re not as good as my Black ex because she’s stronger/smarter/more ‘real’ than white women”).
Romanticizing another race while demeaning your own, e.g., putting down white partners because they’re “too privileged,” “too basic,” or “don’t understand struggle.”
Using past interracial relationships as a weapon to shame, guilt, or invalidate a white partner’s feelings or identity.
Dismissing a white person’s emotions or concerns with phrases like “You wouldn’t get it—you’re white” or “White tears.”
Assuming negative intent or ignorance purely because someone is white, regardless of their behavior or values.
Blaming a white partner for historical injustices or societal problems they had no part in, turning interpersonal conflicts into racial accusations.
Making generalizations about white people in a relationship (e.g., “White women are always entitled,” etc.).
Using racial identity as a moral hierarchy, implying a white person is inherently less evolved, less cultured, or less ethical.
These behaviors are forms of racial prejudice and can be emotionally manipulative or toxic in any relationship. They do not reflect healthy dynamics, regardless of the racial or cultural context.
In the past, I have been living as an Austrian woman in a city in China where a majority of people were somewhat racist towards White women (mostly in a covert, not dangerous kind of way). My ex-husband was racist, but so were other people. I constantly heard things about me and White women that weren’t generally the truth.
Many of us are seen as being easy—wanting to have a lot of sex, like women in some Hollywood movies (don’t ask me which exactly)—and some people in China commonly mistake White women for free prostitutes. Many have also experienced harassment from Chinese men who assumed any Western woman would be willing to have sex with them, regardless of their age, looks, or intellectual background.
Many years ago, a man about 20 years older than me offered to finance an apartment for me in Shanghai if I was willing to have sex with him regularly—such as when he visited me from Kunming—and to pay for my studies there (I wasn’t studying in Shanghai, but he suggested he could finance my studies). He owned a sports shop and seemed to think he could have any woman he wanted by offering money or a place to live. I can’t remember if he was married, but as far as I recall, I believe I would have been his affair on the side—a Xiǎosān 小三, “the little Third” and not the first woman whose life he intended to finance this way. I made sure to run from this man as fast as possible!
Another Chinese man, also about 20 years older than me, once invited me to his apartment in Kunming (this was in 2012), offering me I could stay with him, his wife, and his daughter for a few days.
I said yes, thinking that his wife and his daugher would be home and that he was only being friendly, only to find out that once we arrived at his place, it was only him. He tried to hug me and get me into bed the following day. I fought him off, and left to stay at a female friend’s place, never to see this man again (fortunately).
Now, don’t get me wrong—these men may also hold similar beliefs about Chinese women, so they don’t necessarily fit into the category of reverse racism. But as far as I understand, the view that White women all behave like prostitutes tends to follow a White woman around China like a shadow, no matter where we are.
Have you ever experienced reverse racism?