articles
China Elevator Stories
Groups and Rules
Typically, groups have spoken or unspoken rules that must be followed if you want to remain a part of them.
03/05/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
To the most dramatic and dishonest person I’ve ever encountered: Please leave me alone and stay out of my life. Don’t ever mention your father again, and stop telling me how wonderful and successful he is—as though I care about status, cars, houses, success, or other superficial things that are completely insignificant and don’t give meaning to my life. I don’t need to care about you or him, and I’m not a bad person for wanting nothing to do with you, your father, or any of the insignificant issues or people you try to involve me with.
Let me introduce you to a word in the English dictionary called:
care·giver
[ˈkɛːɡɪvə]
noun
NORTH AMERICAN ENGLISH
caregiver (caregivers, plural)
a family member or paid helper who regularly looks after a child or a sick, elderly, or disabled person
I’m not spending time with drama queens like you, who refuse to take responsibility for their own problems and only create unnecessary stress and drama in others’ lives. Actually, I want to focus on MY OWN ISSUES, which are far more pressing than you and your daddy, as well as your daddy issues and not be made the caregiver of you or your daddy or anyone else you’re trying to make me the caregiver of.
If you’re going to the police like a couple of petty children again, go ahead—but don’t inform me about it in advance. I’m not responsible for listening to your childish words, and I’m not responsible for taking care of you and your daddy (by proxy, since you drag him into this all the time instead of letting me live a life free of people and things that don’t interest me).
I don’t particularly enjoy meeting up with policemen. But if that’s some kind of drama you enjoy, go ahead, show the world how petty you are!
Wow, you’ve really bored me to death today. If I’m dead tomorrow, just know it’s because a boring person bored me to death—go figure!
_________________
Any groups have rules. Usually, joining a group should either be on your own account and free will (if it’s a group that is formed in your free time), unless you’re living in some kind of dictatorship such as Nazi Germany where you were forced to join the Hitler Youth, for example. Some groups, of course, aren’t completely free, such as when you’re at school. You won’t necessarily have consented to being in a group at school, but often, there was consent from you to attend that school, and sometimes, we can be in a group at school that is lovely and where we join willingly (hopefully). Certainly, there may be exceptions.
With regards to groups that are formed in our free time, such as friend groups, hobby groups, or other groups, usually, we do so willingly, using our free will, consensually.
A group like this works the following:
A person may say there’ll be a meeting, and you’re invited to go. If you want to go, you can go, if you don’t want to go, you won’t have to. Some people certainly may sometimes go to meetings because they feel they have to or that they would be missing out otherwise, but they wouldn’t go if they felt like the group was hostile towards them.
With my friends in the past, when we met up, our meetings were delightful. People were respectful, friendly and in a good mood, and we always had a good time. People went on their own free will, and noone was forced to participate in anything they didn’t want to participate in. People knew how to behave socially, and noone felt uneasy. I enjoyed going because we got along well and had a good time, anytime. We could trust each other and didn’t find ourselves in some kind of abusive situation with horrific people. We talked about all kinds of things, but nobody was making themselves the center of attention, and communication was mutual and respectful. We could get our social needs met, and had an enjoyable time.
If you are meeting up with other people, and you’re then being hostile towards people in the group, or you’re excluding them because they are introverted or highly sensitive, you can’t expect to remain a part of that group if you aren’t following the unspoken rules that are normal for such groups.
In some cases, another person didn’t even join a common group with you, but in your mind she did. But even then, you’d have to behave in a socially acceptable way, be kind and respectful towards the other members in the group, and can’t just go around, smash the other person’s rights, steal from her, pretend her self doesn’t exist and that you can just do anything you want to do with the other person, with no regards to social rules, norms, differences between the genders, how she feels, etc.
Groups have rules such as that others need to be treated respectfully and kindly, and people are usually thrown out of a group when they don’t adhere to these rules. No group can be formed on your own will, imposing that will onto another person who has said no to being in a group with you.
If you don’t know what a group is, you can go online and research that topic, but please know that with a person who is as manipulative as you (the stalker mentioned in other blog posts), no amount of online research will ever help with getting to a resolution, because there will always be a manipulative goal that is being put above that which is civil and right.
You can’t say that you’re in a group with a person who doesn’t consent to being in a group with you, and you can’t just claim there’s suddenly some kind of group when you have started stalking another person and you want to stay around that person all the time.
That’s not a group, that’s stalking and harassment, and you’re simply denying reality and a toxic liar if you’re lying about the truth of what you’re doing, which is stalking and harassing a woman, not being in a group, or being in love, or whatever else it is you’re claiming you’re doing without actually feeling those feelings in your body. A very extreme manipulator will claim all kinds of things merely to get what he wants to get. Beware that some people are very good at faking they are in love with you, while others are rather bad at it (thinking they are great at it and that you’re too dumb to see through their lies), but they’ll still keep repeating those sentences to keep up the appearance that they aren’t after your money and stuff, or merely after having sex with you, but that they actually want to be with you, just so that they’ll finally get what they want, with no regards for your feelings, needs, or rights.
By the way, unsolicited advice is when someone gives advice that the other person didn’t ask for. In your case, being an incel with no understanding of reality or real life, giving me unsolicited advice is… a bit off. Not that you’d have the common sense to realize that someone with a lot of life experience would enjoy spending time with someone who basically has none, or that someone with an IQ of 140 would enjoy spending time with someone who has none… or maybe an IQ of 20 at best. Especially since you’re still breastfeeding from your father’s breast and aren’t living an adult life.
Since you’re a man who acts like a little child and talks like a 7-month-old, you certainly don’t share the same experiences I do as a mother and a woman who has gone through… well, a lot. You’re not an authority on anything, and I’m not going to listen to the Authority on Nothing to receive bad advice, which, frankly, sounds… well, a bit dumb, doesn’t it? All the time.
You can’t treat someone like an enemy and then still meet up with them every day, claiming you’re friends and that this is what friends do (meet up daily and spend every second together). Oh, and by the way, that’s not what real friends do. Real friends meet when both have agreed to meet, and they treat each other like friends, not like enemies. Often, they don’t meet up every day because they have their own lives to focus on—other responsibilities, issues to address, and tasks to finish.
Unlike you, who seems to have endless time to stalk someone 24/7 and no purpose in life.
In a real group, the other person isn’t allowed to be bullied, to be used, or to be treated like an object, cheap trash, or a porn star who owes you sex simply because she’s a woman and, in your mind, has the ability to take off her clothes (theoretically speaking).
You can’t just create twisted rules and expect others to follow them just because they’re women. They have a right to have a say, and you don’t get to make any decisions just because you’re a man.
You can’t report a woman to the police and then still claim you’re friends (not that you were ever friends to begin with). You can’t just hang around another person’s place when that person didn’t invite you in, when they didn’t open their door to you, or allow you to have a part in their life when they didn’t allow you to.
Have you ever been threatened that you needed to join a group you didn’t feel the need to join?