China Elevator Stories

Being stalked by my ex

After an occurrence in 2020, I realize I had been stalked by my ex.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


In January 2020, I meet up with a former student, whom I taught in Siping. I show him around Vienna, and we have dinner together. He tells me about his life as a student in Bonn. During our dinner at an Asian restaurant, he asks me to show him what a typical salary would be in Austria. I look it up online and hand him my phone for only a second so he can see it.

A few days after our meeting, my phone’s VPN is hacked, and my password is changed, so I can’t access my VPN anymore. My location is thus trackable.

Chinese family - Ruth Silbermayr AMWF

I assume my former student was sent by my husband to spy on me. My mother-in-law knew this student in person, and my husband and I had been separated at that time, but not yet divorced. 

Months go by, and by the summer of the same year, emails spookily vanish from my inbox before I can open them and read them. A few times after this occurrence and during Austria’s lockdowns, a blonde-haired stranger follows me around Vienna when I leave the house to visit a friend or to do grocery shopping.

The day my VPN got hacked into, I knew my husband had had Stalkerware installed on my phone. I only found out later that certain spyware allows a stalker to delete a person’s emails from their inbox before the person would be able to read them.

Stalking is notoriously hard to prove, so there was nothing much I could do.

Have you ever been stalked?

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