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China Elevator Stories
cultural alienation
I have experienced racism in my relationship with my ex-husband and former in-laws.
12/04/2024
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
I have experienced a lot of racism from my former Chinese ex-husband and my former in-laws.
Even though most Chinese would never admit to this, China certainly has a problem with racism.
In the case of my former in-laws, this showed in them portraying me as a weird, insane person who had seemingly crazy habits, such as celebrating Christmas and birthdays in accordance with Austrian tradition.
The festivities that were culturally Austrian were soon replaced by my former mother-in-law with Chinese festivities or habits, or at least by censoring our celebrations in a way that would not allow me to celebrate them with my children in the way I would celebrate these celebrations in Austria.
By now, my children have been through years of what is called “sinicization” by their Chinese parent and grandparents. They have been brainwashed to completely reject their Austrian mother, their Austrian roots, and their German mother tongue.
“Sinicization” in the case of mixed children who are partly Chinese is the process of turning these children into “fully Chinese children”.
This means that they are being cut off from their non-Chinese parent’s culture, language, relatives, roots, prohibited from visiting that country, and that they are denied of having a mixed identity. They are being treated as though they are ‘100% Chinese’, not in the sense of being included in Chinese society, but in the sense of having to deny their other culture.
It is pretending that no part of them is Austrian, that they are not Austrian-Chinese, but only Chinese. It is a process quite like parental alienation – we could call it cultural alienation: The process of alienating them from their other culture.
They are not allowed to speak or learn German. They have been completely disconnected from their Austrian roots and their second mother tongue, German, which they used to speak fluently.
Racist behavior of my former mother-in-law showed in ways she treated me and spoke about me. She outright bullied me for not being and acting like a Chinese person and also used to bully me because I have Austrian (non-Chinese) looks.
One incident where her racist behavior showed was when one day she forbade me to bake muffins for my ex-husband on his birthday back in the days when we were still married. She also forbade me to give him a birthday present.
Instead, that one very morning a few years ago in Siping, she forced her way into our flat in the morning, punished me with giving me the silent treatment, and forced me to take a boiled egg with me to work in Changchun.
Like so often before, my former husband took his mother’s side and celebrating his birthday other than eating eggs became a thing of the past.
Have you ever had to deal with racism?