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China Elevator Stories
The Only Thing Anyone Would Ever Want From a Narcissist
What narcissists do to other people is so horrific, it can’t consciously be forgiven.
26/06/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
Have you ever met a person who was never relaxed, not stressed, able to just sit back and enjoy a situation, relaxing, meditating, being mindful, or having a nice chat with another person?
I truly can’t stand people who can’t relax and keep quiet (when needed, or allow others to enjoy quietude) and enjoy the beauty of the now. I don’t mind if they do certain things within their own homes, but once their behavior affects that of other people, and they are consciously not allowing others to relax, rest, sleep, be mindful and quiet, I simply can’t stand being around them.
If they are a narcissist and a stalker who has to be the center of attention all the time, and needs to make everything about him and needs to talk to you all the time, not allowing you to have a quiet moment even for one second, stressing you out with his need for being the center of attention, his need for drama, and creating extreme stress levels in an introvert and HSP simply by not taking care of their own stress in their own body, not taking responsibility of what’s theirs to deal with: Learning how to be calm, not throw their energy onto others, not project onto others stuff that isn’t others’ to deal with (such as their distraught, frantic, stressful, impatient energy), then also blaming you for pointing out the truth to their face (it’s common for narcissists to outright deny the truth, then project onto you that you are the one who is doing what they are actually doing). I enjoy nothing more than being blamed constantly for being someone I am not, for doing something I didn’t do, and for being punished for pointing out other people’s poor behavior because it severely effects others (yeah, for sure).
When a narcissist is in your private space, and you point out that this is your privacy he is invading and that he has no right to do so. Guess what he’ll do if he is a stalker caught red handed, not wanting to accept that he is a flawed human being violating other people’s rights? He’ll deny it to your face! He’ll tell you that he is invited in your space. That your space is his space. That you are selfish for not allowing him to stay there, when he is indeed such an enjoyable person to be around (not a person nobody could stand being around). That you are into him anyways, and that you have no boundaries anyways and that’s why you enjoy him being in your space. The lies you’ll hear—it will make your head spin how a person can lie so compulsively about even the simplest things. I mean, what’s so bad about saying: “I apologize, I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to enter your space without you inviting me in, and I am now going to leave it and leave you alone, because I understand that another person has the right to privacy and that she has no obligation to spend time with me, or make me the center of her life, or include me in her life.”
When you have been through the most horrific things, what is it you will want? An apology, and for this person to leave your life and to leave you alone forever.
When you have been stalked for years, the only thing you’ll wish for is for the stalker to leave your life and leave you alone. What will he do? Deny you all these rights, attack you for pointing out the truth, which is that he is harrassing and stalking you, and that you have every right to point out his deranged behavior if it effects you negatively or makes it impossible for you to live a normal life. An apology is something you will never hear from a narcissist. They are way too arrogant to ever apologize for their horrific behavior and boundary violations. They’ll do all kinds of further boundary violations instead, will paint you as a narcissist instead, or will run to the police to make you out to be a criminal and a bad person, while they are keeping up their stalking and harassment so you can never get free from a severely deranged person who is putting your life at risk (if you’ve ever received death threats and rape threats on top of that, know that these people are dangerous and not fun to deal with).
I mean, I for one ran to China to get free from one particular stalker, not that he’s now leaving me alone. All my online channels, my blog, my emails are infiltrated by him. He’s constantly reading all my messages, watching the videos on my phone, looking up my plans with my family, etc. He’s hiding behind his computer, not meeting up with real people in real life, not living a real life, but simply being caught up with stalking my every move. Then claiming I want this, I want the attention, I am Machiavellian and cruel and consciencesless, and that’s why I deserve to be treated the way he treats me. No, sorry, I am not Machiavellian, ha! I can’t do what Machiavellians are able to do and I can’t think as manipulatively, cruelly and consciencesless as they do. I may have become numb, feeling wise, from having been treated extremely cruelly and consciencesless for years, with no quiet day and no second of being allowed to just be and enjoy the moment, enjoy me, be in my own quiet energy, not having to focus on some petty topic, on some superficial topic I am not interested in, or on a shallow person claiming that I need to praise them for being so special and for having such a great daddy who makes them better through relationship by blood (oh, and by the way, may I remind you that I am not interested in listening to your stories about your daddy? Your daddy issues are yours to deal with, not mine).
When there’s nothing ever right about you, in the eyes of a narcissistic stalker, and he projects all the things he’s doing to you onto you, including being Machiavellian, well, a person who is intelligent and who is neither Machiavellian nor narcissistic will be able to see herself in the correct light and mirror. Mirror: It’s what these people are lacking. The mirror to understand how their behavior affects other people and the humbleness to say sorry, and then to leave this person’s life forever.
Because the things certain people do are truly unforgiving, not things anyone could ever forgive, because that’s how conscienceless their actions are.
People who act like this: I forgive them when it’s time, and then they have to leave my life. Forgiveness is only possible in a case like this if the other person leaves your life afterwards. If you forgive and he stays in it—only to ramp up his cruel behavior—then forgiveness will do nothing for you. He may even claim you’re the one who needs to forgive him because he “didn’t mean evil.” (Usually, this means he doesn’t show any real regret for what he’s done to you, but simply wants to manipulate you into thinking he feels remorse—if he’s a narcissist who will use whatever lie or tactic serves him best.) No—true forgiveness is never anyone else’s to dictate. And I only forgive extremely malignant narcissists once they’ve left my life, because otherwise it’s simply not possible to truly forgive. Anyone who has experienced the extreme things narcissists do to another person—the threats, the intimidation, the theft of your life and identity, the destruction of your relationships, the stealing of your projects, your work, your very sense of self, or worse: them trying to kill you, rape you, or anything else you’ve survived at the hands of sick, sadistic people—knows that there truly is no way to forgive any of that if they never change and never stop.
True forgiveness is only possible if things quieten down, calm down, and the perpetrator has left your life. You’ll need to have quietude, time to think, and can’t have that person around you all the time and forgive. That’s just impossible for anybody’s body to do. There are natural laws and rules to everything, and believe me, when your heart is smashed to pieces all the time by having your relationships destroyed, or a person constantly attack you, it will be impossible to forgive. True forgiveness can only happen when a person such as this has left your life forever. The way people have acted these recent years were also so shocking, I don’t know if anyone in their right mind can come to terms, internally, with how extreme things have turned out. I grew up cherishing peace, people being kind to each other, and saw how others treated each other politely and respectfully. So that’s what I have internalized. These are also my values.
Have you ever had to deal with such a person?