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China Elevator Stories
After Six Years: Seeing My Children Again in Siping
I took a fast train in early June to see my children again after almost six years of separation.
14/06/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
After almost six years, I saw my kids again in Siping. My ex-husband had agreed to let me see them, so I took the fast train from Tai’an on a Friday afternoon and arrived in the evening, after about seven and a half hours. I checked into a cheap hotel (which wasn’t very clean), and the next day, I met up with my children at a park, where we made plans for the day. Their father had sent them there by car—I still don’t know their exact address.
My younger son, who knows Siping well and all the places that are fun for kids, suggested we go to Nanhu Park—a free park with a few pavilions and a pond. We spent some time there.
I had brought a a few toys and games, and we tried to play Boccia in the park.
Later, I took them to a café to sit down for a while. My older son, who is now 10, picked the first book of the Harry Potter series from a shelf and started reading. He told me he really liked it and that they already knew the story from the movie.
A few weeks before my visit, I had sent them some Chinese books, and he had already read three volumes of a children’s fantasy series called 4.30 in the Afternoon at the Museum. He has always loved books—or at least being read to, when he was younger—and he could never get enough of stories. That love of reading seems to have stayed with him. I’ve been trying to find books he might enjoy in Chinese bookstores, though I often find it hard to judge just from reading the summaries on the back.
I googled what age Harry Potter is usually read, because I found it a bit brutal and wasn’t sure if it was suitable for his age. I read it for the first time when I was 13 or 14. But since he seemed to love it, I figured it probably didn’t matter. Google said even 8-year-olds read it, which reassured me.
We played a few games at the café, and when they got tired of sitting, they told me about another place we could go—a beach near a small pool (where children could play in the water, which wasn’t too deep). Neither of them can swim, and while my older son kept playing in the sand, my younger one enjoyed walking in the water to cool off.
They repeated something their father had often told me: that more people who can swim drown than people who can’t. I’m not sure if that’s true. I think swimming is so much fun that every child should learn it—and I believe that children are much safer if they can swim.
One of my sister’s friends lost her younger brother that way. He drowned when he was four, after falling into the family’s pool. His mother, who couldn’t swim, had to watch helplessly. It’s a horrifying example of why knowing how to swim—as an adult, at least—can make all the difference in an emergency.
In general, I really don’t agree with the idea that not knowing how to swim is somehow safer. Children can easily fall into water, and if they don’t know how to swim, they have no way to save themselves. If they can swim, they have a much better chance of surviving.
Of course, four-year-olds usually can’t swim on their own yet—they still need water wings and close supervision. I actually almost drowned when I was about five because I forgot to put on my water wings and jumped into our pool. I only survived because my sister jumped in and pulled me out.
When I talk about safety, I don’t mean letting young kids swim in deep water or unsupervised. I mean that it’s dangerous even to be around water if you can’t swim at all. It’s those everyday moments—near a river or pool—where the danger is greatest if a child has no swimming skills.
It was already very hot in Siping in June. I really like that the city offers some free spaces for children, like parks and the beach we went to. Nanhu Park used to have a small entrance fee, but it’s been free for a while now.
During the day, my younger son asked if he could stay overnight at my hotel. I changed to a larger room so they could both stay. My older son came too.
The next day, we went back to the beach—it was their favorite place. Around noon, I brought them back to the area near the pizza shop their father owns (my children had told me approximately where it was). Then I returned to the train station to catch my train back to Tai’an, as I had to work the next day.
Have you ever been separated from your children?