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China Elevator Stories
Abuse of Power
Abuse of power is when power is abused in a way where it is to the detriment of another person.
27/05/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
Abuse of power occurs when someone is abusing a position of power, or is abusing a situation and is acting as though they are in a position of power over you.
Abuse of power can occur when we’re dealing with authorities or other institutions. When the authorities protect perpetrators at all costs—because they are men just like themselves—and put victims at risk, we are dealing with an abuse of power. In this scenario, the power they have been given is being abused. They should be treating the victim as though she is a person who is innocent but may immediately draw the conclusion that she is at fault, for example.
Abuse of power can also occur in the workplace. It occurs when a person who has power over you, such as a boss or superior, abuses that power. This person may threaten you with being fired if you don’t act a certain way. They may also abuse their power by making you overwork, do work that is not within the range of work you’re supposed to do according to your contract, or make you do work that is beneath the level of professionalism you have. This could look like only giving you the work of an intern who isn’t trained, or forcing you to make them coffee when you should be working as a web designer and getting real practice in your profession.
You may have started your job so you can get some real-life experience as a new graduate, but you constantly have to do inferior work (work not mentioned in your contract) and work that isn’t aligned with what you have learned, not allowing you to gain real work experience—keeping you small, so to say. A boss or superior may also block your ability to further your career or switch to a higher position by not allowing you to do training on the job, while others are, for example, allowed to do it.
Many men also abuse power with regards to women. Though not in a real position of power over women, they often still act this way. They do so in order to stay in positions where they are in higher positions of power or authority over women (even when the woman is the one with more real authority in reality), to constantly squash a woman’s chances of getting out of a desperate situation, to squash her opportunities—creating detrimental dynamics where a woman can’t get to a higher level (such as in her own life with regards to work, children, her living standard, etc.).
Common Signs of an Abuse of Power Occurring Are:
Intimidation or bullying:
Intimidation or bullying to create fear in the other person and control their actions, behavior, and thoughts.
According to an article on crisisprevention.com, bullying can include:
Physical intimidation or harm – tripping, hitting, pushing, or spitting on a victim
Social exclusion, making fun of the victim, teasing, name calling and/or insults
Threats, property destruction, making the victim do something s/he doesn’t want to do
Spreading rumours or lies about the victim
Bullying involves holding power or control over the other person, or ‘putting someone down’ for the perpetrator to feel superior in some way.
Favoritism and discrimination:
Favoritism and discrimination occurs when two people should be treated the same, but aren’t—a person may be treating one woman respectfully while constantly devaluing the other (or creating some other golden child/scapegoat dynamic, where you’re being treated like the diligent stepdaughter in Mother Hulda’s story, and another person is treated like her real daughter, much better, though she is lazy and doesn’t participate in household work or other tasks).
I experienced this dynamic to an extreme degree with a singer who consistently treated me as the scapegoat—blaming me for everything—while idealizing his ex-girlfriend as a flawless goddess who could do no wrong. During their relationship, she got whatever she wanted, while I had to beg even for the most basic things. And even then, I rarely received anything—whether it was help dealing with a stalker, having my privacy respected, or other fundamental needs being met.
Eventually, I had to cut him out of my life—though he’s still continuing the abuse, stalking, and harassment. He’s acting out like a man who is experiencing puberty and who would act out against his mother. I have told him umpteen times to stop, that his behavior is immature and inappropriate, and that I want nothing to do with such childish behavior.
He hasn’t been taking on any responsibility that is his, and has constantly been blaming me for not taking on the double responsibility—his and mine. He’s also been trying to force me out of being allowed to have a relationship with my sons and has been bullying me horrifically for wanting to concentrate on whatever is truly important to me, by keeping me in hours-long “therapy sessions” where he criticizes my supposed mental and relationship problems (focusing only on relationships, and always forcing me to talk about relationships, which is quite immature and, frankly, absurd—you either have a relationship and live it, or you’re incapable of having a real relationship with a woman, and that’s why you’re constantly talking about relationships without ever creating one in real life).
It is really quite simple: You either talk, or you do.
You either blame others all day long or keep them in unnecessary, fake therapy sessions (which, as a mentally ill and dysfunctional person, you’re not in a position to provide in any meaningful way. Also, the other person didn’t sign up for therapy with you—where she has to play the identified patient and you get to play the therapist, wasting her time all day long).
You don’t have a professional education as a therapist, and therefore, you’re not allowed to do that with another person. You’re completely inept and unprofessional, doing this in an immature, unhealthy way that deflects from what really needs to be addressed.
I am stressed out by all the things that actually need my attention—things I can’t tend to because someone else is keeping me busy with unnecessary tasks that are simply a waste of my time and that I never consented to. My time is my time—not someone else’s to steal or “manage” (or rather, mismanage and waste).
If you talk all day long and focus on problems that aren’t even there, you’re just wasting another person’s time. If there are real problems that need solving, you don’t talk—you act. A problem only gets resolved through doing, not by sitting around all day like a lazy person who just complains and talks, talks, talks, but never actually does anything. I don’t want to have anything to do with a person like that.
If you’re talking, you’re not doing anything to resolve the problem. If you’re doing, there’s no need to talk about it. You either talk, or you do—and I will only accept people in my life who solve problems, take responsibility for their own lives, and don’t push their duties onto others. Especially not onto someone who is already overwhelmed with her own responsibilities and further burdened by the chaos created by irresponsible people constantly forcing her to deal with what is completely insignificant, unimportant, and unworthy of her attention.
He has been shouting at me, verbally abusing me, not allowing me to communicate my boundaries or have them respected, and has projected all kinds of things onto me. I was being prevented from being able to rest, relax, and tend to what needed tending to. He has been playing the victim to the extreme and has been engaging in all sorts of drama and theatre that I told him repeatedly I want no part in.
After all, who wants to deal with someone who treats you horrifically, only takes without giving, expects you to surrender your rights, and demands to be worshipped while forcing you to devalue yourself—essentially casting you in the role of a slave?
He behaved like an incel, acting as if a white woman has no worth, no right to make her own choices, and no entitlement to receive help—because in his mind, she’s not actually in need. No, he’s the victim, and she is the perpetrator—the “bad,” “evil” woman who wanted nothing to do with someone acting like a lazy drama queen. He played the role of the woman in the relationship—never the man.
And then I’m expected to hand over everything: my belongings, my relationships, my projects, my job… because, after all, he’s such a “great star,” so deserving to receive and so entitled that he never has to actually give or do anything in a relationship. You’re expected to clean up his messes—he won’t ever clean up anything himself, won’t do anything himself, and won’t act even when your life is in danger. No, you always have to do everything, and then take all the blame for it.
He is selfish to the extreme. If there’s anyone who never considers another person, it’s him.
Retaliation against dissent:
Retaliation against dissent means that people who speak up and criticize superiors or other people (such as men who abuse them) will be retaliated against horrifically, such as being reported to the police, having the police interview their neighbors, etc.
In my experience, we’re living in a time when privacy has seriously deteriorated in Central Europe. Narcissists seem to ensure that everyone is constantly being watched, leaving no room for peace. They take advantage of tools like spyware—tools that, in my opinion, shouldn’t even exist.
The last time European society saw this level of mutual surveillance and distrust was during Nazi Germany (including Austria under Nazi rule). Similarly, East Germany faced a comparable issue after World War II, as depicted in the film The Lives of Others (Das Leben der Anderen). That movie follows a spy whose job is to monitor fellow citizens and report them for any perceived disloyalty.
In the part of the video shown above, the man being interrogated is asked what he did on September 28th (the video is set around the year 1984). Incidentally, my younger son was born on September 28th, 2016.
Micromanagement or overreach:
Overreach happens when a person acts not within their sphere of tasks but extends their reach to a sphere that isn’t their right to control, manage, or otherwise interfere with. They may be excessively interfering in your life or tasks—tasks that can only be finished if you do them alone—by simply interfering in a way where you aren’t able to work professionally or do anything anymore because every task you do is stolen from you by a person who then claims you now owe him because they stole a task from you that was yours to finish, not theirs. Their help wasn’t needed in the first place—their behavior wasn’t helpful but sabotage. Everything was complicated, stopped, made impossible to finish, and then you’re also having to deal with a person who claims they were treating you respectfully, nicely, and like a queen—and that you now owe them because they “helped” you. If a person micromanages another person, a lot of the time, the other person wasn’t asking for that micromanagement and couldn’t enjoy it either, because things that didn’t need managing were managed, and your life and enjoyment of life were made impossible because a person needed to control everything.
Unlawful surveillance:
Unlawful surveillance happens when you’re being surveilled by another person without a basis in law that allows for the surveillance of an individual. We all have a right to privacy, and if this is being infringed upon by a person who is, for example, using spyware to spy on everything you do and write, then reports you to the police after he found out that you sent an email to the police to ask how you can report a person who stalked you, using private information he received about you by using illegal means to spy on you—this would be called unlawful surveillance. He only received certain information about you through using unlawful means, such as spyware and surveilling you, which is illegal anyway and is violating your right to privacy.
Emotional manipulation and control:
Emotional manipulation and control is also common in a dynamic where a person abuses power. Emotional manipulation usually means the other person is manipulating the emotions you would naturally have. If you don’t feel guilty, they may throw a guilt trip where they are accusing you of being bad, evil, and selfish for not considering their needs above yours. Narcissists, who are conscienceless, always want to get a pass when they are abusive or using other people, and it is common for them to throw a guilt trip when they want you to put down a boundary—for example, a stalker guilt-tripping you for going no contact or wanting time alone away from them by claiming you are selfish to do so. They may also use emotional blackmail. This means that they will use extreme emotions to force you to give them what they want. I have sometimes given in to a narcissist’s emotional blackmail simply because his psychological terrorism (“Psychoterror” in German) didn’t stop and I wanted nothing more than for his extremely deranged emotions and campaign to blackmail me to stop. Believe me, you may hand over things to him if he blackmails you—and any strong person can be swayed to give him what he wants if he is an extreme manipulator who uses extreme emotions, which, at some point, the victim won’t be able to endure anymore.
Isolation:
Isolation may also occur in dynamics where an abuse of power occurs. A victim may find herself unable to get out of a dynamic where a person abuses his power because she is being isolated and doesn’t receive the help she needs. She may have asked other people to help, but they weren’t willing to, or she may not be able to take legal steps against a stalker because she is lacking the evidence to prove his stalking or because the authorities don’t tend to take stalking seriously enough.
Constant undermining or belittling:
Constant undermining or belittling happens when a person constantly belittles you even though you have done a good job, you’re professional, good-looking, or for whatever other mishap he thinks you have caused. Usually, in this scenario, you are doing great—you aren’t deserving to be belittled—and they are doing so to keep you small. If you are belittled only once it may not be such a great problem, but if you are constantly being belittled, your self-esteem may be impacted. This belittlement usually occurs when a person has no right to belittle you—because they had no right to watch you privately, for example, or they were in your space and you didn’t invite them in—they just went in there anyway and then started to belittle you for all kinds of things. Constant undermining may happen both in private or at work. It can happen through a coworker who doesn’t want you to keep your job, and people may gaslight you into believing you aren’t actually as good at what you’re doing as you are. This is different from legitimate criticism. A person who constantly undermines you may constantly push you into an inferior position with regards to them, even when—if things were natural—you would be in a higher position. They may also undermine you by cutting you off from friends and family, by making sure you don’t have any chance of getting help when you need it, by cutting you off from your support system, or by making sure everyone who used to be in the group of people who could support you is being turned against you—or in undermining your true authority in other ways.
I have experienced constant undermining by two men (over a prolonged period of time, though I have also experienced it from other men) who are excessively jealous—one or both of whom are undermining me by deleting my followers on X and Pinterest, by lowering my YouTube view numbers, by constantly taking parts of my blog down, deleting the pictures in my graphic design portfolio so I would not get hired, or hacking into my accounts while I was working on projects online to then change my projects (by inserting weird effects on videos while I was editing them online, for example).
According to Benjamin Preston, who calls himself both a dreamer and a doer, undermining someone else may look like the following:
Undermining is a behavior that involves undermining someone’s authority, power or status. It can be seen in a variety of ways, including making fun of someone, talking badly about them behind their back, refusing to cooperate with them or deliberately doing things to make their job more difficult.
He talks about undermining behavior at work, but the same behavior is also commonly found in other situations, and can occur in the same way in relationships with family, friends or acquaintances.
Now, certainly there are other signs as well that occur when a person abuses their power—these are only a few of the more frequent ones.
Have you ever experienced a person who abused their power?