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China Elevator Stories
Why Do highly Successful Men sabotage women's Careers?
Men have repeatedly sabotaged my career.
05/08/2024
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
You may be familiar with the topic of financial abuse in relationships. I personally experienced it during my marriage, when my then-husband coerced me into giving him half of my salary monthly for years in a row. He claimed that if I didn’t comply, he would end up in prison—a prospect that seemed frightening at the time but would be welcome now. He had an unregistered pizza shop and told me he was deeply in debt. Under immense pressure and threats, including threats to my life, I eventually gave in to his and his parents’ demands, handing over half of my salary every month just to be left in peace.
In the meantime, the German singer I used to be in a relationship with has launched an all-out cyber war against me that has lasted for months, if not over a year. I am exhausted from constantly having to deal with him. His hacking skills far surpass my ability to counter them, and his relentless persistence means he refuses to stop or leave me alone, no matter how much I plead.
One of the problems I have repeatedly encountered is his attempt to stop me from blogging or lower the quality of my blog by invading my privacy, disrupting my time, and hacking into my blog.
For example, he frequently freezes my screen while I’m working on projects. A task that would normally take 2-3 hours often turns into a 6-7 hour ordeal or is left unfinished altogether. This also happens at my workplace. From my experience, he can hack into any computer without the other person noticing.
This behavior is a form of financial abuse. Financial abuse doesn’t only involve forcing someone to hand over their money; it also includes sabotaging their career, interfering with their job or projects so they can’t earn money or work efficiently. It can also involve controlling someone’s spending or pressuring them into overspending so they don’t have enough money for what really matters.
Why would a highly successful person do this?
One reason for this is certainly partriarchal ideals and sexist views of women.
The singer seems to believe that I should stay home and do nothing, that I shouldn’t be allowed to have a career or pursue my own projects. When a man feels threatened by a woman’s career—even in cases like mine, where my blog is a niche blog and not something others should feel threatened by—it often stems from deep-seated insecurity. My goal is simply to be independent and work on my own projects, yet he is making this impossible.
In my experience, highly successful people who are in top positions are often malignant narcissists. Why? Because non-narcissists are typically not capable of acting without conscience, latter of which is a character trait that is useful for CEOs. In a competitive environment, those without narcissistic traits may be outmaneuvered before they can make significant progress in their careers.
Additionally, men who sabotage women’s careers often have very low self-esteem. A man who feels the need to hinder a woman’s professional advancement is likely dealing with severe deficiencies in self-worth.
Many of these men are also sexist or misogynistic. In my experience, Austria seems to be regressing in terms of gender equality. As I see it, the inequality between men and women today is reminiscent of the Middle Ages.
Has anybody ever blocked your career?