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R.I.P. Privacy
We are living in a time when our rights to privacy are increasingly being violated.
26/08/2025
Ruth Silbermayr
Author
Pri-va-cy. Pri-va-cy.
Have you ever told a stalker this word, only to be stared at with bewildered eyes, as if they couldn’t understand its meaning?
What does privacy truly mean?
To me, the right to privacy is knowledge enshrined in my body. But for many, they don’t understand it, they don’t respect it, and they certainly don’t appreciate it. In essence, privacy is the sphere where no one else is allowed to enter—a space meant to be kept private, which we have the right to protect. This includes our private bodies and body parts, the thoughts we think, the words we speak, how we manage our daily life and tasks, and even how we complete ordinary chores like washing clothes or dishes.
Any stalker is inept at respecting another person’s privacy. That’s what makes a stalker a stalker: the fundamental disregard for another person’s boundaries. A stalker can only stalk because they lack the capacity to grasp what privacy is, why it is necessary, and that another person has a genuine right to it—whether that person is a blogger or not.
Privacy means being allowed to be alone in your home without someone entering, observing everything you do, and then commenting as if they had the right to be there. It means they are not allowed to remain in your home when you ask them to leave, even if you had previously invited them or if you live in a shared flat and another resident brought a guest in.
Regarding my blog and other private or professional projects, I encountered a stalker who attempted to take part in everything I did. Since most projects are now online—such as on Canva, which allows affordable video editing compared to Adobe After Effects, though with fewer features—it was easy for him to log into my private accounts using spyware. This software allowed him to see my passwords, emails, private messages, and everything I was doing on my computer.
He logged in simultaneously with me and edited my projects without my knowledge. I would only discover the changes later, for example when reviewing an edited video and realizing he had added words, altered transitions, or changed small details. This sabotage extended to my blog articles: he would delete videos, upload pictures multiple times to make deletion difficult, change titles, and generally act as if the blog were his property. Every step I took was undermined by him. He believed he had the right to my blog and projects, to dictate how they should be altered, and to exert control over what I was doing.
This type of enmeshment, where the boundaries between “I” and “you” are blurred, feels deeply violating. One person living out your identity in this way is extremely uncomfortable and intrusive. It also serves as a method for the stalker to maintain contact with me, attempting to collaborate on projects in order to remain part of my life and, in a sense, live my life with me.
This particular stalker made himself out to be my superior without permission, degrading me, bossing me around, and asserting that I was incapable or unprofessional—all because I am a woman who works independently, not codependent or eager to share everything I have or do with another person.
These individuals can also be greedy, coveting the possessions or life of another person. It’s as if they knock on your door every day—or enter uninvited—taking the food you bought with your limited funds, even though they are financially capable. They do not consider the consequences for you, such as going hungry, and then they act as though you are wrong for asking them to leave. They take things for granted, including the right to simply stay in your flat, eat your food, or even watch you naked—privileges that no reasonable person would assume as theirs.
Because of the prevalence of such individuals, robust privacy laws are essential. Our privacy is increasingly endangered, and many of us—particularly women like me—face constant violations. Why women like me? Because male stalkers often treat us as possessions simply because that is what they desire. Their appearance or social status is irrelevant; they may be physically unattractive or unremarkable, but in their minds, they claim friendship or intimacy because of past proximity, inappropriate touching, or staring. In their perception, this proximity makes you a permanent part of their life, whether you consent or not.
These people do not think like normal individuals, and they do not act like normal individuals. The word “privacy” is foreign to them. When asked to respect your boundaries, they will gaslight you, attempting to convince you that you have no right to privacy or that they hold some self-proclaimed special status that grants them more rights than anyone else.
If a person is dysfunctional, so be it, but don’t draw me into your dysfunction so I’ll drown in a sea of dysfunction.
Have you ever encountered people who had no understanding of what privacy truly means?