China Elevator Stories

reactive abuse

Reactive abuse is what happens when a person is being provoked by another person until she explodes.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


Stop it, Joris.

You do not need to tell others what they are allowed to feel and what they are not allowed to feel. Others feel exactly what they feel, and you have no right to stop them from feeling their feelings.

Their feelings are their feelings. Mr. You Are So Intelligent You Constantly Need To Bully Others For Being Dumb: Fuck off! She doesn’t want to show you love if you are hostile, if you attacked her, if you constantly abuse her and are disrespectful towards her. It is a no-brainer: No brain needed to understand this!

She says, ‘leave me alone’ – guess what? Leave her alone! It’s as easy as it gets!

Her feelings could be different from your feelings, and this will not make you die! Nobody dies from someone having different feelings from you. No, you will not die from just letting a person sit there, be quiet, do nothing and let them have their own feelings.

No need to try and change another person, go within, change yourself instead!

She doesn’t like you? Accept it. Deal with it. Go scream out your lungs somewhere else, do not throw your emotional garbage onto her, do not coerce her into liking you.

She doesn’t want to spend time with you? Accept it. That’s reality. Let her be. Don’t engulf her – let her spend time on her own without having you in her space! That would be healing for her, you are not very intelligent if you constantly need to project onto others and if you need to control everything!

She doesn’t want to ever be with you again because you were throwing other women in her face all of the time and because you were constantly talking about how great and sexy other women are? Well, she is not going to be with you!

Reactive abuse is, simply put: Provoking somebody by disrespecting them or by repeatedly violating their boundaries until they explode. She doesn’t want to be provoked by you? Don’t provoke her!

There was a lot you could have done to change the situation. But you chose not to.

Have you ever had to deal with a person who denied they had a responsibility in a situation?

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