China Elevator Stories

“Did You Miss Me?”

I get asked this question often in China.


Ruth Silbermayr
Ruth Silbermayr


If I miss my fiancé, I’ll often text him, telling him directly that I miss him. He, on the other hand, usually doesn’t tell me that he misses me directly. More often than not, he’ll ask me instead: “Did you miss me (想我了吗)?

This is a very common question for Chinese to ask. I thought it weird that someone would ask me if I had missed them, without telling me that they had missed me in return, which is what we’d do in Austria.

But, as my fiancé told me at the beginning of our relationship, asking someone if they missed you was actually the equivalent of telling this person you missed them. It’s just a bit more indirect.

If he asks me this question now, I know that he’s implying he missed me. If I reply: “I did, how about you?”, he’ll usually answer: “Of course I did, or why else would I be asking you this question?”

Have you been asked this question before?